Joe Ehrmann Essay on UVA Lacrosse
Coach For America Founder Joe Ehrmann, who starred in the NFL and as a PCA National Advisory Board Member now stars in PCA's new online courses, has given PCA Connector a stirring essay on the death of University of Virginia lacrosse player Yeardley Love. The essay starts below and links into our Youth Sports Spotlight blog, where you can read the full essay and comment to Joe and our whole PCA community.
One Team-One Heart-One Love=One Movement I went to Yeardley Love's funeral with my twenty-two year old son. Yeardley, a University of Virginia lacrosse player, was murdered early this month apparently at the hands of a former boyfriend. My son, a college lacrosse player, was friends with Yeardley, her accused murderer, and many of the men and women on the UVA lacrosse teams. Sitting next to him, I could feel and see him trying to process the conflicted emotions surrounding the enormity of this tragedy, compounded by knowing both the victim and the victimizer. The young men sitting around me sobbed and sniffled. At one point in the ceremony I turned to an emotionally distraught young man and asked him if I could give him a hug. |
Ask PCA: Is the "Rest Rule" Right for My 13-Year-Old?
We had another great response to last week's "Ask PCA" question from a coach struggling with the way his assistants disciplined their T-Ball players. The consensus was that a head coach must establish and maintain disciplinary procedures, starting even before the season.
You can scroll down to read PCA's response, but, for now, consider this week's question:
Is the "Rest Rule" Right for My 13-Year-Old?
"My son is 13 years old and a left-handed pitcher. His coaches, one of whom is a former MLB player, treat him differently, stating that he has a significant amount of talent. He is the only player on whom the coaches impose a "rest rule." Should he be allowed to play alternate positions the day after pitching or should he rest entirely for a day or two before he plays the next game as the coaches say?"
-- Prefer to Stay Anonymous
Following is the previous "Ask PCA" question and PCA's response:
"I manage a 4-and-5-year old T-ball team, with two rostered coaches and several other parents who help coach, too. One parent and one coach have disciplined their own children in front of the other kids, one by grabbing and holding the child such that it was painful, and another by making his son run to the fence and back alone. On neither occasion was I consulted, as coach, before the parents acted. l feel that I should have laid some ground rules with the parents and coaches at the start of the season, stating that T-Ball should be a sanctuary from the parent/child relationship and that disciplinary action should go through me, as manager. Both of these kids looked at me with looks on their faces that appeared to be asking me for help. I want to make sure this never happens again. Should I have a discussion with all the parents or send out a directive addressing my wishes?"
PCA Response by Eric Eisendrath, Lead Trainer-New York
While PCA recommends holding a parent meeting and sending out a parent/guardian letter and parent pledge at the beginning of the season, it is never too late to do either or both. In fact, I would strongly recommend that you do both, based on the alarming events you have outlined. You need to share your philosophy with all the parents and ensure that the offending parties know that what they did is wrong. It also is important that the other families (parents and children), who might also object to your assistant coaches' behavior, feel your support, as together, you seek to create a culture where children flourish. You are correct that the children are looking to you for help. Taking the situation on immediately is the best way to help them.
Read all the Ask PCA blog comments on this question.
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Coaching Tip: Use a Buddy System to Fill Emotional Tanks
One of the best ways for coaches to ensure that players have full emotional tanks is through the Buddy System. Before a practice, a coach can assign players to fill each others' tanks with truthful, specific praise and reminders to use a mistake ritual, such as "flushing" mistakes or "brushing it off." It is each player's job to watch for signs that his/her buddy needs an emotional lift and then to provide that lift. Click the screen-image below to see video from the Liberty Mutual Responsible Sports program of Adelaide Hulbert -- a coach who led Foster City (CA) Baseball and Foster City Youth Softball Association into partnership with PCA -- as she conducts a post-practice exercise where her players explain how their buddies filled their tanks.

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