Here is a new way to look at "bad days," courtesy of PCA Founder and Executive Director Jim Thompson in his podcast interview with CaptainU, a website that helps high school athletes navigate the college recruitment process.

 

"I've talked to a bunch of college coaches," Thompson says, "and a lot of them say that if they're watching a kid, they already know the kid has ability, because they've gotten to that point (in the recruiting process).

 

"Some coaches really want to see the kid have a bad day so they can see how the kid responds to adversity. I don't care how good a player you are. When you get to college you're going to have bad days, and what coaches want to know is, 'What's the kid's mental toughness like?' "

 

If that's not all the inspiration you need, as coach or parent, to teach your youth athletes how to overcome adversity through a mastery approach to their sports, click here for more insights from Jim Thompson in CaptainU's "Role Model" podcast. 

 

Before presenting this week's question, here is a review of last week's question and PCA's answer.

 

"My question has two parts. 1. We have trouble with players missing practices. This year we set practices for the same day each week and gave families a complete schedule at the start of the season. What do you suggest for discipline and what do you consider reasonable reasons for missing?

"2. My own child is on this team. If he needs to miss a practice, how do I handle this? I cannot bench him since he is the only goalie, so how do I address this with the other players and possibly parents?"

 

 

Coaches can consider a variety of solutions when players missing practice becomes a chronic problem.  They can prevent the problem to begin with by holding dynamic practices that players want to attend.  A dynamic practice usually entails a written practice plan with activities that keep players moving and involved, bringing a positive attitude and high energy level to practice.
 
Another key is setting clear expectations for attendance with players and their parents, which may vary depending on the players' age and the competitive level of the league.  Let them know what you consider acceptable reasons for missing a practice (i.e., illness, family events, religious obligations, games or practices for other sports, homework or school activities, etc.). Explain that you like having players at practice because you care about their development as players and people, and make it clear how to notify you in advance of anticipated absences.
 
Discuss this issue with the whole team, inviting their input on the importance of practice and how absences affect the team.  Hearing from teammates may motivate players to attend practice as often as possible.  You might prepare the team captains or other leaders to facilitate this discussion.  It's important to stay positive and avoid blaming, accusing or singling out players. 
 
Again, depending on age and competitive level, reward the players who practice the most and the hardest with extra starts or playing time, the chance to try a new position, being a captain for the next game, or getting a sticker or other symbolic reward.
 
Still, players may miss practice, and you will need to set consequences, such as not starting, less playing time, or an extra physical activity.  Consequences should be appropriate for the age and competitive level, and physical consequences should not punish players, but should help them make up for work they have missed.
 
When considering consequences, remember that younger players depend on someone else to get them to practice and may miss even when they want to be there.  If older players are getting themselves to practice it is important to let parents know when their children miss practice.    
 
Consequences should equally apply to all team members. That means you should develop a back-up goalie.

 

 

"I coach an 11-year-old travel team. Before the season, I told parents that players would not necessarily receive equal playing time the way they do in our house league. The parents say OK to my face or in e-mail, but mid-season, some parents are complaining about their children's playing time.

 

"One parent asked why his son sat out 2 of the 6 innings, while another player didn't sit out at all, and I explained the only player who did not sit out was the catcher because our other catcher was injured. One player's parents cause a scene, asking their son from behind the bench, 'Why are you sitting out again? If you're sitting out again, we're going home.' I don't have any problems with the kids. How do I deal with the parents?"
-- Asia Lee, Dix Hills, NY 

Click here to answer this question on the "Ask PCA" blog.  

 

Ask PCA your youth sports coaching and sports parenting questions, at AskPCA@positivecoach.org

 
To read all responses to the previous "Ask PCA" question -- "Players Missing Practices" -- click here.

True Competition: A Guide to Pursuing Excellence in Sport and Society
by David Shields and Brenda Bredemeier
 
This is a book I have been waiting for. 
 
I first heard David Shields articulate the ideas contained in this book at a conference at Notre Dame in 2003.  He referenced Alfie Kohn's book, No Contest: The Case Against Competition, and made the case that Kohn was right but wrong.
 
Shields acknowledged that Kohn's evidence of the negative impacts of competition is vast and compelling, but then he went in a surprising direction, which has informed PCA high school programs ever since.  He said Kohn is not talking about competition but a degraded form of competition called "decompetition."
 
Competition is actually a wonderful thing, a "striving together" in the original Latin, which results in better performance. 
 
In a compelling chapter called "Naming the Imposter," Shields and Brenda Bredemeier, a member of PCA's National Advisory Board, contrast competition and decompetition.  I love their description of the ideal contest under competition: evenly balanced opponents, tension, drama and a great story, play and seriousness in balance with positive emotions predominating.
 
Contrast that to an ideal contest under decompetition: domination by "our" side, certainty of outcome (because losing is so awful), unrelenting seriousness driving out playfulness with negative emotions predominating.
 
Another chapter argues for the superiority of a democratic coaching style over the prevailing authoritarian style that tends to promote decompetition.
 
True Competition is informed by research but it is written in a conversational style and includes anecdotes and stories, case studies, inspirational quotes, Q&A sections, and practical tools.
 
Would anyone pick decompetition over competition for the youth of our society?  I don't think so, which is why this is such an important book.
-- Jim Thompson, PCA Founder and Executive Director