Before presenting this week's question, here is a review of last week's question and PCA's answer.
"My 8-year-old son plays on a select baseball team with a couple of not-so-nice kids that say things like, 'you suck' or 'you stink' to some of their teammates. How can I suggest to the coach that he discuss with players the importance of respecting teammates without him feeling like I disapprove of his coaching? These kids are at an impressionable age and are put in some pretty high-pressure situations; the last people they need coming down on them is their teammates. Do you have any ideas?"
PCA Response by Joe Scally, Director of Training and Evaluation
Trash talk is an upsetting trend in youth sports. I recently attended a swim meet where youth swimmers were trash-texting each other! This type of behavior needs to be nipped in the bud.
Most coaches would appreciate you bringing this to their attention, because they know such behavior undermines the team's success. More importantly, they want to teach their players the value of showing respect for others in all parts of their lives. Often, coaches are unaware of these remarks, because players take care to keep the coach from hearing them.
We encourage older athletes to bring such issues to the coach themselves. At age eight, your son may not be ready to do so. But you should talk to him about why disrespecting teammates is wrong and offer him some ways to handle disrespectful statements.
You should meet with the coach and consider bringing your son. When you approach the coach, start by letting him know how he is helping your son and thank him for his commitment. If the coach is not open to hearing about this issue, or is already aware of it and has not taken action, you must consider whether this is the right place for your son to be. He has a long time to play sports. You want to make sure he is having fun so that he'll stay in sports and learn the many life lessons they can teach.
Now, this week's question:
"My question has two parts. 1. We have trouble with players missing practices. This year we set practices for the same day each week and gave families a complete schedule at the start of the season. What do you suggest for discipline and what do you consider reasonable reasons for missing?
"2. My own child is on this team. If he needs to miss a practice, how do I handle this? I cannot bench him since he is the only goalie, so how do I address this with the other players and possibly parents?"
-- Anonymous in Missouri
Your actions, more than anything else, will teach your athlete about Honoring the Game. As you share in your teen's sports experience:
