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Positive Coaching Alliance occasionally receives tremendously moving notes from parents, coaches and leaders of youth sports organizations. Here is one from Pat Conroy of California's Half Moon Bay Little League (HMBLL):
I just thought I'd share this letter with you. It was written from a parent from another league after the HMBLL team lost a District championship game in dramatic fashion. It really makes me feel like we have been doing things right and shows how the PCA philosophy has truly filtered down to the kids who are out there playing the game.
Thanks for helping us get there.
Pat Conroy
HMBLL
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(To) Half Moon Bay Little League President, Steve Stack,
Dear Mr. Stack,
I wanted to contact you regarding some outstanding acts of goodwill and sportsmanship I noticed recently at the Little League All Stars game at the Belmont Sports Complex. My son, Ryan, is a pitcher for the Hillsborough team, and we had the honor of playing your team a few times over the past few weeks. I witnessed your team's power and athleticism when I attended the Pacifica tournament last month.
At the last All Star game on Friday July 10, Half Moon Bay and Hillsborough met up for what would be a nail-biter of a game, complete with a sudden ending (which also surprised all of us in the stands)! Both of our teams know what it feels like to win, and what it feels like not to win, and these emotions are especially magnified at an important game like this.
I've seen players mature through the years, from being 9 year olds who cry and throw hats, to now early teens (who still cry and throw hats - but not always so obviously!). As a parent, I cheer on the wins and support the losses, yet what I hope for during all these years is a good experience.
I want my children to learn self discipline, to develop their athletic skills (hopefully without injuries), and to understand and practice a knowledge/intelligence of the game and respect for the coaches. Above all, I hope they will learn good sportsmanship, because I feel it is this trait which is the core to becoming a good, caring, and empathetic human being.
After the sudden win on Friday eve, a player from your team came over to the gathered Hillsborough team near the fence. He graciously and genuinely congratulated the boys and then offered tips and suggestions for the upcoming games in San Lorenzo. I was not at the fence for this interaction.
Later, as I walked to the car with my son, he didn't talk about the win, but just kept repeating, "Mom, they are such good sports. I've never seen this before. They actually came up to our team after the game and let us know what to expect in the next series of games. They are such good sports."
As we continued to the car, more Half Moon Bay players approached us, and with smiles on their faces and outstretched hands they said, "Hey, are you the pitcher? You pitched a great game!"
"Thanks," my son said in awe, still trying to understand how these young players could so easily absorb the loss, and extend themselves to the opposing team. My son sat in the car, shook his head, and again repeated, "Wow, they are such good sports; I've never seen this before."
Whether my son leaves a field the victor or not, it is this experience that I hope will always stay with him. I thank you, Manager Jennifer Freeman, the coaches and parents, and the terrific team you have developed and fostered. My son and I will always remember this day and your Gift of Sportsmanship!
My best wishes, gratitude, and respect to your entire team of remarkable players, Derek Ackerman, Gabe Bauer, Cody Dexter, Harlee Donovan, Zane Gelphman, Cohlton Gonsalves, Kyle Harwood, Frank Lemos, Josh McKnight, Enrico Nuno, Chet Silveria, and Sam Vaughn and to the leadership of Manager Jennifer Freeman and coaches.
Most sincerely,
Kathy Ward
Burlingame, CA
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When PCA sought Ms. Ward's permission to publish her note here, she wrote to PCA:
...I am a public school district nurse in San Francisco. In this past year, I've worked at two schools, totaling 3,100 students. While I'm all about the biology of children and the effects, especially in sports, of diet (hypoglycemia and hydration), sleep deprivation, and illness prevention, I also understand the powerful role of psychology and emotions in their lives. I've witnessed the dramatic influence positive, adult, caring relationships can make in a young person's life, on their goals, happiness, and most notably, their self esteem. (Especially true for the role of coaches in a child's life.)
At the same time, especially for middle-schoolers, I've also seen the tremendous impact from long-term or even fleeting comments by their peers. Our instant society and form of communications -- with non-thinking phone texts, social network messages and emails -- have left in their wake many who feel victimized, "bullied," and with low self esteem during this period of self actualization. Often the senders do not even realize the impact of their words, because, unlike composing a thoughtful letter or school essay, they did not give it much thought, or were influenced to jump on a negative bandwagon for fun and peer acceptance themselves. For some, these negative words and experiences can be life altering.
Young people need to be acknowledged for their positive actions. Coaches, parents, and teams need to also hear and learn the power that their words and actions can have upon others. It was with this intention that I passed on my recent experience and my son's "awakening" to this sincere act of Sportsmanship. It was a simple act, yet one powerful enough to break through a moment of self celebration and cause pause and reflection. It is my hope that my son will weave this moment into the fabric of his life experience and will also pass it on in his life relationships.
Most sincerely,
Kathy Ward
Burlingame, CA
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