Following is an excerpt from the fifth book by PCA Founder and Executive Director Jim Thompson,
Positive Sports Parenting: How "Second-Goal" Parents Build Winners in Life Through Sports.
The Big Picture and You
This book describes a model of sports parenting that focuses relentlessly on the Big Picture. We call it the Second-Goal Parent.
There are two broad goals in youth sports: striving to win and building character so kids develop into successful, contributing members of society.
As important as winning is, Second-Goal Parents let coaches and athletes worry about the first goal of scoreboard results. Second-Goal Parents have a much more important role to play: ensuring their children take away from sports lessons that will help them be successful in life. Remember, that is the Big Picture. And attending to this is much more vital than being an extraneous back-seat coach.
Now, there is nothing wrong with caring about whether your child's team wins or loses. Go ahead and care about it! Likewise, there's nothing wrong with giving pointers when your child asks for them.
But the lifelong impact you can have - that no one else can in quite the way you can - is on the life lessons your child takes away from the sports experience. No one can be there for your child in this way better than you. No one.
If you embrace your role as a Second-Goal Parent, it will transform the way you see youth sports. It will help you seize the teachable moments that will come your way again and again because you are looking for them.
What might have seemed like a disappointing loss or a failure by your child becomes an opportunity to reinforce resiliency. A tough competition in forbiddingly hot, cold, or nasty weather can prompt a conversation with your child about learning to enjoy challenges. Whether your child succeeds or fails on the playing field, you will be able to use the experiences to reinforce the kind of person you want him or her to be.
Positive Sports Parenting: How "Second-Goal" Parents Build Winners in Life Through Sports is available for holiday gift-giving at
www.positivecoach.org/store.