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Connector -- July 30, 2008
In This Issue:
 
National Conversation on Good Coaching Case Study #4: "State of Play"
 
PCA Founder Jim Thompson Responds to Case Study #3

Coaching and Sports Parenting Tip: Tune Into Teachable Moments
 
Good Coaching Case Study #4: "State of Play"

Thanks to all of you who responded to our July "Good Coaching Case Study." You can read all the responses by clicking here. Now, consider our next Case Study:

 
State of Play
 
Several weeks into the season, you are frustrated by your child's lack of playing time. The team is successful on the scoreboard, winning more often than losing, usually by comfortable margins.
 
As far as you can tell, other parents and athletes on the team seem satisfied with the status quo, even ones who also are sitting on the bench. But you wonder if a coach has a responsibility to get players into games even when there are no external rules or requirements to do so.

Your child has not complained about not playing, but you sense diminished enthusiasm since the season's start. 
  • Should you talk with your child about this? If so, what do you say?
  • Should you approach the coach about this? If so, how would you go about it?
  • Is your approach affected by whether players had to try out to make this team?

You can "converse" about your answers at the Case Studies blog and by printing out this Case Study for discussion at youth sports events and organizational meetings.

As always, thanks to our co-conveners who distribute Case Studies through their websites, e-mail newsletters and publications, making this a true National Conversation on Coaching:
 
American Medical Society for Sports Medicine
American Youth Soccer Organization
Institute for International Sport
Little League International
Michigan State University's Institute for the Study of Youth Sports
National Association for Sport and Physical Education
National Federation of State High School Associations
Pop Warner Little Scholars, Inc.
USA Volleyball
USA Water Polo
US Lacrosse
PCA Founder Jim Thompson Responds to Case Study #3
 
We titled this case study about Central Washington softball players Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace, who carried injured opposing player Sara Tucholsky around the bases after she hit the ball out of the park, "The Limits of Sportsmanship" because sportsmanship (what PCA calls Honoring the Game) often is constrained by a win-at-all-cost mentality. In one of the blog comments in reply to this case study, Ron Smith asserted the need for room for acts of kindness in sports, but all too often these opportunities are never even noticed.
 
I have talked with coaches who do not want their players to help an opponent up even after the whistle blows because that might take the edge off their competitive killer instinct.  This is a shame as the "fierce and friendly" approach to sports is a beautiful one.  You compete fiercely to win but you don't demonize your opponent and you can be friends after the game (and even within the game!).

Coaches who teach Honoring the Game will want to incorporate this example into their team culture.  As Don Lafferty noted in his blog comment, "the unique nature of the home run...provides a technical nuance not found in other sports."  But Double-Goal Coaches will want to prime players to be ready for opportunities like the one that Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace seized upon...and the one in the lovely lacrosse story shared in Chris Carroll's blog comment.

In my presentation to high school athletes on the "Identity of the Triple-Impact Competitor" (who makes self, teammates and the game better), I share this softball incident and end my talk by asking them how they will respond when their opportunity appears.  It won't look exactly like the softball example, but sooner or later, if they continue competing, they will have a "Mallory Moment."  Whether they use it to make the game better depends on them.

Another aspect of a positive team culture ("the way WE do things HERE") would be to want to win "fair and square."  James Johnson's comment says, "Most truly serious athletes want to know that when they won, it was on their own effort" not on a technicality.  Double-Goal Coaches emphasize to their team that winning by dishonoring the game is worse than losing. 

I emphasize the role of the coach here because without a strong team culture of Honoring the Game, this could have degenerated into the rest of the team criticizing Holtman and Wallace for hurting their competitive position, especially in a game when they still had a chance at making the playoffs.  I have seen little in the news stories about the Central Washington coach, but several commenters note that he must be doing something right.  Barry King said, this was "a tremendous testament to doing it the right way and preparing athletes for careers as humans."  Michael Rando eloquently stated, "Inside the game, we live by a rulebook but the game and the rulebook are but a part of a larger game. Our lives."  And isn't that what youth sports is supposed to be about?  Yes!

Let's not overlook the irony of the positive possibilities that arrive when things go wrong.  Had Sara Tucholsky not hurt her leg rounding first, virtually no one would have ever known about this game.  The fact that something went wrong created possibilities that Holtman seized.  Had everything happened according to plan, just another game out of hundreds, nothing special. Instead, as Derek Bowers notes, "...both teams will remember this for the rest of their lives...."

Returning to the concept of the Triple-Impact Competitor who makes self, teammates and the game better, the Mallory Moment was a superb example of athletes seizing an opportunity to make the game better.  And in doing so, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace make all of us who care about sports better.
-- Jim Thompson, PCA Founder


Coaching and Sports Parenting Tip: Tune Into Teachable Moments
Two unique television events in August will give Double-Goal Coaches and Second-Goal Parents the opportunity to teach life lessons through sports. The Beijing Olympics and the Little League World Series promise to provide examples of Triple-Impact Competitors, who strive to improve themselves, their teammates and sport as a whole.
 
Put yourself in the shoes of a youth baseball player watching peers compete at the highest level. Wouldn't the rare sight of someone your own age excelling on an international stage inspire you?
 
Capitalize on that openness. Talk to your player not only about techniques -- "See how he kept his weight back?" -- but also about the life lesson of resilience: "Even though he struck out in the first inning, he kept trying. He seemed to learn from his mistake since he hit much better the rest of the game. I've seen you do that, too. You're the type of person who learns from mistakes and keeps trying to improve."
 
Likewise, the Olympics offer life lessons couched in extraordinary stories, such Michael Phelps' attempt to win eight gold medals and top Mark Spitz's record. You can talk with your athletes about how they, like Phelps, can stand up to pressure. For example:
 
"What kind of pressure do you think Michael Phelps is feeling?"
 
"Can you describe a situation where you felt some pressure to perform?"
 
"How did you handle that pressure?"
 
Take care to address positive character traits you see in Olympians, not just their physical talent. ("What did you think of the way he congratulated his opponent after losing such a close race?") Keep in mind that not every life lesson is tied to high drama or a high-profile event. Any unexpected victory or defeat is an opportunity to talk about how life sometimes doesn't go as we expect. 
Keys to these conversations include:
  • Keeping yourself open to teachable moments as you are watching TV
  • Asking open-ended questions that encourage more than a "yes" or "no" answer
  • Remembering to turn off the tube in time to go outside and put these lessons to good use!

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