By Stephanie Pauline I'm tired. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's the judgment inside that I "should" somehow be farther down the road than I am. Maybe it's the knowledge of Iran's imminent nuclear threat. Maybe it's the oil seeping into the blue by the barrels, thousands and thousands, everyday. Maybe it's the two year-old, or the fifteen year-old for that matter. :) Maybe it's life in general - all my years so far have been both shorter and WAY longer then I ever thought they would be. Time has a way of breaking our expectations...no matter what they are. There is a verse in the Bible that says, "Men grow tired and weary, even youths stumble and fall, but those that wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." This promise is not that we won't get tired - but that when we do if we will wait on God and not try to find our own way without Him, He will come and will fill us with new strength. We don't need to pretend that we are not bone dry - we can stand in our emptiness and ask God to fill us. "There are seasons to ALL things" the Bible says. Even Jesus Himself found need of time with God away from the cares of the world. Then again, you know, I sometimes get frustrated that Jesus was a single man. It seems an unfair portrait of life to have Him as our example when so many of us find ourselves smack in the center of familial demands. How do you escape the cares of the world to regroup with a two year-old clinging to your legs? How do you live like Jesus as a wife and mother? A husband? A father? As a person living in the nuclear age here in the 21st century? If I could tell my disciples I'll be back in a couple days and go into the hills right now - I would. Here I am though - dry, but full of love for my family. Tired, but digging in deep to give yet more to this work. Despairing - yet wanting to find hope for a planet so desperately in need. This is life. Grown up - real life. So Lord come. Come to us. Come to me. Fill me with your thoughts, your plans, your priorities, and most of all with your love. Show me how to live like Jesus would here and now in this right here. God, give us the strength to stand for what you want in our lives and in this world. God fortify us. Let us bring, by your grace, something beautiful into this place. We are waiting on you. In Jesus name I pray - Amen (let it be). |