Do you ever make decisions and then spend the next days, weeks, months - or even years - worrying about whether it was the right one to make? Are you constantly  over-thinking things?

If you do, then you're not alone.   I think many of us will recognise this situation, especially when the decisions have been painful.   However, when you get into this kind of pattern of thinking, you cause yourself unbelievable amounts of unnecessary difficulty.  

How do I know?  Because I've been there and I know how easy it is to fall into this trap.   But I also  know how to get out of it, so here goes...

...Occasionally, it's good to have a reality check and to make sure you're happy with decisions you've made, but to go back repeatedly to the same issue and to question your decision is not only unhelpful, it can be very destructive.

So if you've been 'beating yourself up' about a decision you've made, try this:

1. Whenever you find yourself going back over the same issue and wondering whether you did 'the right thing', ask yourself to 'STOP'.   This isn't helping you.  

2. Remind yourself, 'If I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, then it was the right thing for me at that moment.'   This is even true if you weren't sure it was the right thing.   Trust yourself that if you felt it was something you had to do at that time, then trust your instincts and accept it.

3. Think about how that decision may have changed things for you, what benefits you've gained as a result (who have you met, what are you doing that you weren't doing but that you wanted and and needed to do etc), what lessons have you learned as a result of your decision?   Write them down and refer to them whenever you start to doubt yourself.

4. If you hurt someone else as a result of your decision, then ask for their forgiveness.  Whether they give it or not, should not affect how you feel about your decision.   Sometimes you just have to look after yourself first and, longer term, that's usually right for everyone else as well as you.   But what they choose to do with what happens in life is their responsibility, not yours.

5. Most importantly of all, FORGIVE YOURSELF.   It's never too late.   Feeling bad about yourself never makes you happy and does not help you become the best and happiest you can be.  

If you made a mistake,  you're HUMAN and so is everyone else!  There isn't now, never has been and probably never will be a human being that is perfect.   That's the very nature of  mistakes and we ALL make them.

Learn what you need to learn from the decision, accept that you were doing the best you could at the time and LET GO.'

Once you start to accept the situation for what it is and accept your 'human-beingness', you'll feel like a totally different person and can move forward and start being happy again.

Be well and happy and please share your thoughts on this if you feel so inclined.

PLEASE PASS THIS INFO ON if you know anyone who is interested and ask them to sign up for regular updates on annie@breathingspacetherapies.com or 0772 581 8884

With love

Annie