I often ask people why it is that when they are driving in their cars, they stop when a red traffic light appears. Sometimes their response is that they fear being stopped by the Police if they don't. I push a little deeper with this until they realise that the real reason they stop is more about their natural fear of being hurt or even killed by a vehicle coming across from another direction. Something that illustrates; when the 'rules' make sense to us we go along with them quite happily and calmly, as we know exactly why we accept them, they make us feel safe.
Some years ago I remember so well how difficult it was for me to drive a car in the USA for the first time, even though I had been driving for over 30 years here in the UK. The reason was quite simple; they drive on the 'wrong' side of the road 'across the pond'.
At the Colorado Springs airport, I walked around my hire car a few times before climbing into the left side, where the steering wheel is located. To minimise problems I deliberately chose an automatic gearbox, which is very common there anyway but not having to worry about physically changing gear on the wrong side for me meant one less cause for concern but I was still very wary.
As I set off I was physically trembling, so took my time to familiarise myself with the strange feeling of having the bulk of the car to my right side and other vehicles passing me on the left side but knowing that to stay safe I had to abide by the rules of the road. I also found that I had to concentrate far more than I had needed to do for so many years but stayed with it until I felt better about the whole experience.
In exactly the same way our dogs feel much safer when they know the social and survival rules of both their family and environment. When they feel safe, they are able to relax and respond much better to our requests for cooperation and once we show them that we are capable of responsible decision making, on their behalf, then we find that they become willing to work alongside us and when 'Amichien� Bonding' is adopted this becomes the reality.
Having become familiar with driving in the United States I was thrown a huge curve when I was being driven in Chicago by a colleague. Without warning she turned right when the lights were on red, TWICE! When my heart had returned to its normal rate, my colleague introduced me to the 'right on red' rule, whereby it is completely correct (and more importantly-safe!) to turn right when the lights are on red, providing there is nothing coming from the left etc.
For our dogs too, we have little differences in our 'rules' so before you get frustrated with a dog for not knowing what is required please remember my experience and make sure that you quietly and calmly show them how to behave and you take charge of every situation before they feel that they have to.
Jan Fennell
20th June 2012
