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Whose Need

A few days ago I met a Gentleman who was already a sincere advocate and ambassador of the work of Monty Roberts. He also loathed any form of bullying or force and I am certain that he could never inflict physical violence on any living being, as he was a very nice person.

During our conversation on the thinking of all dogs and how they so desperately suffer from the unnecessary stress of being given responsibility for the people in their lives, we discussed how easy it is to avoid this sadness for the dog by simply timing any greeting with the dog for its benefit.

For me, knowing that walking passed them, waiting until they have settled and then call them to me for a cuddle, is wonderful, as I know that this simple act will take the burden from them. On saying this, the gentleman said that he just could not resist greeting the dog immediately, even though he now knew that his actions were guaranteed to damage the dog.

How often I have heard this and have to ask 'whose need' are we dealing with here? Nothing was going to change this person's mind about knowingly stressing the dog and I was reminded of a lady who called on the skills of one of my highly experienced Dog Listeners, as her dog was actually biting people in its confusion about its role within the pack. 

My Colleague carefully explained why the biting was happening and how, with the simple adoption of 'Amichien� Bonding', this could be resolved kindly and completely, to which the owner expressed her understanding and appreciation.

A couple of weeks after the consultation the Dog Listener telephoned the owner to remind them that help was always available and to see how they were getting along. The owner had found that in his opinion, not greeting the dog in the traditional manner on coming together after separation, was damaging to the dog, which of course made progress impossible and as a result had put the dog down.

On telling this story to the kind gentleman he said how sad this was but that he still could not resist speaking to the dog, even though I told him that once the dog had willingly left him alone for a few minutes how he could then call the dog to him and how it would be absolutely appropriate and desirable to give the dog all the affection that he wanted then, the gentleman still said that it could not be done.

I told this gentleman that he would be my topic this week and he said that I could actually give you his name but I resisted, not out of consideration for him but because this will apply to so many people who put their own needs above the peace and happiness of a dog but I live in hope that sanity will prevail.

Jan Fennell
20th September 2011

P.S. Just before the gentleman headed home he said that he was only teasing me by continuing to do this and that he understood. What a pity that he chose to continue to confuse a dog to tease me.