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Just Like Us 
Hearing a television presenter saying in a babyish voice 'Oh how sweet, they are just like us', as she observed a group of primates reacting to the appearance of a new baby, made me shudder. Especially when she said that she had never thought that 'monkey's' could be so gentle and loving, which left me wondering if the presenter had ever done more than given a fleeting thought to the actual life of apes, of their subtle and intricate social communication system and skills.

 

It is only when we stop "talking" that we really learn, as listening is one of the most powerful tools that we have, especially if we really want to know the truth. The reason for this is that when we truly listen we really see and understand.

 

So often people watch a little animal behaviour, which is usually out of context and then wonder why they misunderstand what the animal is showing them and worse still, make a judgement on that error then can't understand why their reaction to the mistake causes further problems and confusion.

 Gorilla

Programmes like the current BBC offering called 'Deadly 60' designed to show how dangerous animals can be, animal reactions that are forced by the presenter and camera crews chasing, cornering and grabbing animals. These animals, left alone, would avoid humans in every way. The disgraceful outcome is that animals suffer and children are taught methods of abuse, well done BBC.

 

To really understand we must listen, without interruption, which takes willingness, patience and concentration along with the courage to admit when we have simply got it wrong.

 

The other great value of listening is that we realise that the animal just needs us to appreciate what and who they are. That they don't need fixing, just to be heard and validated and then we realise that we can save ourselves and other animals, in our case the dog, from totally unnecessary distress, confusion and pain.

 

For this reason I invite you to really listen to your dog, not just with your ears, you can also, easily listen with your eyes. See when your dog is concerned at something and quietly put distance between your dog and what is making your dog anxious. You can then watch for the moment when the tension goes from your dog and, as long as you are relaxed, this will allow your dog to calmly look at what has caused the fear and if you stay confident and quiet then your dog will be able to reassess the cause of the problem. Whether it is a child, a bus, another dog, another person your dog will realise for itself that all is well. When you repeat this process every time your dog is fearful then your dog will quickly learn that you are taking the lead and whatever caused the problem is not a cause for concern. With the lesson learnt you can go on to enjoy so much more time together.

 

It is too easy to misunderstand and make an error of judgement based on limited observation, something I know as I really thought that Gorillas were chest thumping, violent thugs, until I was introduced to the work of the late Diane Fossey. I was later privileged, in 2009, to sit quietly, a few yards from a family group of Mountain Gorillas in Rwanda, spellbound by the peace, affection, care and playfulness of the family. My eyes were opened in exactly the same way as when I discovered that my impression of wolves as being aggressive and dangerous animals, having only seen the heavily edited documentaries on the television, was an absolute insult to an extremely private, noble and special species.

 

The irony here is that the television presenter was right when she said that they are like us, as like us, other species are capable of all the qualities that humans possess and value. They too like being respected, like being given time and space to work things out, like to be calm, like to feel safe, like to have others around them that make their lives wonderful. The major difference is that people are the only species capable of inflicting cruelty on all species, including their own and perhaps the fact that we are able to do this misleads people to think that other species will do this too. I have to tell you that judgemental cruelty, personal attacks and condemnation are only found in people and never in others.

 

Listening is the greatest gift that you can give to all and you will find that your own life becomes so much more wonderful and special too. I know that mine is.

 

 

Jan Fennell

3rd August 2011