Upcoming Offerings
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Basic Listening Skills Workshop - January 2010
Be sure to sign up if you haven't attended yet or if you need a refresher. Spread the word if you know anyone who would like to improve their listening skills.
See Below for Details.
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Greetings from Jim
We wish you a merry Christmas or
whatever holiday you celebrate and hope that it is not too stressful. For many people
the expectations surrounding a major celebration leads to a range between the blues
and getting depressed. This holiday plague is only exacerbated by the
news. I've included a series of Holiday ─ Havoc or Haven questions, designed to
help you listen to yourself and those close to you ─ to take charge of the
season and let in a little more joy.
Our big news is that Sally's book of
miniatures, TEA PIE, LOVE AND REALITY: A
Collection of Memoir Essays, traveled yesterday by email to the printer
and we await the Limited Numbered Edition. If you order now we can likely get copies to you by Christmas. We thought it would
be a touch sooner, but then so go the expectations. Book production takes more
time than we had hoped.
You can bring a little joy to yourself
or those you love by ordering Limited Numbered Editions at our pre-publication
price of $11.95 including First Class Mail Service. January 31 the cover price
of $14.95 goes into effect. You can reply to Jim@PetersenPublications.com
with your order and we'll ship immediately including a bill, or go to the order page on our website and safely use your credit card or PayPal
account. (You may need to refresh or reload the order pages on our website.)
One of Sally's reviewers wrote that
"Her miniatures are sure to make you see ─ and savor! ─ the world with a fresh
eye." I have read and re-read her
miniatures and never tire of them or the way they touch me.
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Greetings from Sally 
Ten years ago I published my
book
about starting and running a one-person business. The Great Recession has made
it sell again...we get orders every week or so from Amazon. It doesn't have a
section on social networking, but everything else remains up to date. The
basics are always good.
Now here's my second book, full
of the short essays, observations and musings that I call Miniatures. At this
rate, I'll be well into my hundreds before I write all the books I have in
mind.
Confession: Writers come to a stage when they don't want to let a book go
because when it's finished they're filled with apprehension. Writing is the
good part and we're loath to let it go. We hope for a good reception, but doubt
that we'll get one. That's where I am now-full of ambivalence. In spite of it,
with this newsletter, I'm sending Tea Pie
off into the world to make its own way.
Jim wrote about the details: this
is a Limited Numbered Edition, we're promoting a prepublication price of $11.95
(including shipping) through Jan. 31. You can go directly to our order page (do
not pass Go), but you might need to hit reload. http://www.petersenpublications.com/order_books.htm
Or just email us. Or telephone,
for that matter.
I don't
think we can promise delivery by
Christmas Day, we have a good chance.
In the
meantime, you can go to my section of our website, and click on Miniatures to
read the Christmas fantasy I cooked up one year when I was working full time. I
had children at home and such a full life that I needed escape. I used to think
about this scene while commuting to work. For contrast, here is a bit about the
reality. Both are in the book.
Christmas - Reality
The front door
gleams red, backdropping a massive green wreath. The tree, a twelve-foot,
ceiling-touching Noble fir, is eager for ornaments. The stuffed, soft or wooden
ones hang near the bottom where little fingers can hold them. Others are homely
little remnants of thoughtfulness made by children and grandchildren,
I bring in armloads
of fragrant juniper and red-berried holly, add Bosc and Bartlett pears,
pomegranates, mandarin oranges, and green apples, create a Della Robbia mantel.
I place dozens of
creches, no two alike, around the room's perimeter. The serene little domestic
scenes frame the coming chaos with images of continuity, familiarity. They,
too, are safe for little hands.
Music joins the
mix. We play Herb Alpert's Tijuana Christmas; the Fresh Aire carols are
lusty and secular, no matter their words. A soul rendition of The Messiah
co-exists with the familiar choral music backed by a great organ.
As we close in on
The Day, I center a flame-red tablecloth with a metal Santa and reindeer that
rock when touched lightly by small inquiring fingers, add holly, candles, red,
green, and gold ribbon. Six Bohemian red glass bowls flanked by costumed
nutcrackers march down the table offering gilt-wrapped candies. The table fairly
shouts: Abundance! Warmth! Welcome! The fireplace beams, candles add the scent
of bayberry.
The doorbell rings.
Grandchildren arrive, parents in tow. Young ones stagger about, the oldest
topped six feet this year. They fill the house with noise, chatter, exuberance.
Their parents relax, having arrived in a place where they can be children again
for a few hours. I am in charge of their world this afternoon.
A champagne cork
pops, smoked salmon appears, last minute dinner preparations proceed with
accustomed ease. We will seat twenty.
-December 13, 2003 |
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Holidays ─ Havoc or Haven?
What do you like about the holidays?
What don't you like about the
holidays?
What is expected of you for
the holidays and by whom?
Who's in charge of your
holidays?
In the past what conscious
changes have you made to improve your holidays?
What do you want for yourself
for the holidays?
What do you want for others
for the holidays?
What changes will you try to
negotiate and with whom for the holidays?
What will you do differently
this year for the holidays? |
Listening Skills Workshop
I'll be teaching my basic Why
Don't We Listen Better? workshop in a three hour format. There will be time for
questions and practice. It's sponsored free by Good Samaratan Ministries and
will be held Friday, January 8 from 6-9 pm in Beaverton. GSM trains folks to be
good listeners and support people. The training helps whether you want to use
the skills in your home, over coffee, in a professional office or to train
others to be good listeners. Email me to let me know you are coming and I'll
send you directions. Jim@PetersenPublications.com or
call 503-590-3979.
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Listening Technique: Handling the Holi day Blues
When listening to someone who gets
depressed over the holidays, their relationships, the economy, the loss of a
loved one, a job, or really any kind of loss, here are several basic clues to
guide you.
Start by acknowledging how low or depressed
they feel. Use a plus ten to minus ten scale. And don't tell them they really
have it better than a lot of folks.
Then help them describe their
anger, how strong it is, who or what they are angry about, where they feel it,
how it compares to other times they've been angry and acknowledge it.
Move to help them describe what
they felt before they got angry. Anger is a secondary emotion that follows on
the heals of another emotion ─ disappointment, irritation, resentment, sadness,
loneliness, etc. Acknowledge it, don't fall off your chair or spill your
coffee. The more they talk easily about feeling bad, the sooner it goes away
and the less is left to fuel their anger.
Under their hurt feelings is
caring. Help them find that and notice it. Folks don't get hurt unless they
care about life, partners, kids, the world etc. When someone is angry I know
that beneath it is hurt and below that,
caring. Makes it easier for me to deal with anger.
Anger is the measure of the gap
between what people expect and reality. Big gap between what we expect and reality
─ a loved one dies ─ big anger. Just a little late for lunch ─ little anger.
Ask what they expect that didn't come through, that they didn't get, that set
up the anger. Expectations are our hold on thinking we should have control and
that others (the world, God) should come through the way we have planned.
Repeat: "So what you expected was........and what really happened was.................
Mmmmm."
The opposite of depression is
moving. Do whatever you can to get yourself or the other person exercising,
walking, running, hitting tennis or golf balls, a punching bag. Physical
activity that gets someone puffing and panting burns up emotional overload and
reminds us we still are alive and able to accomplish something, the opposite of
the losses we experience, the opposite of soaking into the chair observing TV.
Oh yes, if the activity includes doing something for someone else, it will make
a difference.
For more help on anger and
depression study and practice the chapters on Acknowledging, Expectations and
Anger, Persistent Anger and Bullfighters and Suicide Hints in Why Don't We Listen Better?
Let me know how this process works for you. Jim@PetersenPublications.com.
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