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Santa Fe Center for Relationships Newsletter
Volume 3     -       Number 4      -      April 2010 
In This Issue
About Carrie and Cat
What participants are saying
2010 Couples Workshop Schedule
Relationship Tip
You can be right...or you can be in relationship
New SFCR Imago Offerings
carrie and cat sf
Carrie and Cat are passionate about helping couples and individuals have the relationship of their dreams. They invite you to join them at one of their workshops or events in the coming year. Please help them spread the word about Imago and the Santa Fe Center for Relationships by forwarding this email to a friend or loved one who may be interested by using the link at the bottom of the page.
What Participants are Saying About Us and Our  Workshops for Couples:
 
The safest, most deeply satisfying experience
I could imagine having with my partner.
 
Carrie and Cat are/must be the best of the best-definitely two people who genuinely fit the profiles of people who should be helping others better their relationship.
 
Their concern for others shows through their incredible work.  (They) have given our marraige life and hope again. 
 
Realizing that conflict is growth trying to happen has changed my entire outlook on life.
 
I now have hope, not despair. I am excited to have a new vision of my husband, myself and our journey ahead.
Imago Logo
 2010  "Getting the Love You Want" Workshop dates:
 
 
May 14-16
July 23-25
September 24-26
November 12-14
 
 
Lesbian Couples:
 
June 11-13
August 6-8
October 8-10
 
For more information
or to Register go to: 
 
 
imago logo
 
Keeping the Love You Find: Workshop for Singles/Individuals
 
September 10-12 
 
 
Start Right, Stay Connected:
 Premarital Workshop 
 
 
November  6

For more information or to register go to
 www.santaferelationships.com
 
 
 
 
RelationshipTip:                                                                 
 
Give up having to be right. Instead, be CURIOUS about a different view. 
 
Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field: I will meet you there.
~ Rumi      
 
 
You can be right ...
             or you can be in relationship 

 

Growing up in our families, it was important that we be "right," and do things the "right" way, so we could be accepted by our parents and be safe in our families.  Our very existence depended upon it.  We had to fit in. 

 

Carrying this childhood need to be "right" into your adult intimate love relationship of today can cause significant problems, because if you are "right," then your partner must be "wrong."  This annihilates your partner and his or her world view & reality. When you insist on being "right," and your partner "wrong," you fail to see them.   Can't they be "right" too, based on their background and way of looking at things? 

 

Remember relationships and intimacy take two.  Accepting the idea that there are 2 "rights" in the relationship can be very difficult and challenging, but it is essential if your relationship is going to survive, let alone thrive. 

 

The antidote to "right" and "wrong" thinking is curiosity and a willingness to see your partner's view and to acknowledge that you are 2 different people.  It means letting go of your childhood need to be "right" and becoming an adult, by opening yourself up to a new, different world view --- that of your partner.   You don't have to agree with them, but you need to understand and acknowledge that in your relationship there are 2 people, 2 worlds, and 2 realities.

 

It won't be easy.  It will take time, but the bottom line is that you can be "right" or you can be in relationship.  Take your pick. 

 
 
You win or the relationship wins.                      
~ Terry Hargrave
The Essential Humility of Marraige
 
 
 
Love does not dominate, it cultivates.                                     
 
~ Johan Wolfgang von Goethe
 
New Imago Offerings in 2010
 
Imago Logo Imago Singles/Individuals Workshop 
 
"Keeping the Love You Find"
 September 10-12
 
This intensive self-growth workshop for individuals is based on the work of Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Keeping the Love You Find, and founder of Imago Relationship Theory.

In this workshop you will:

  • Identify your character structure & your defenses
  • Discover how childhood wounds affect your relationships
  • Understand why you are drawn to certain people
  • Gain new relationship skills
  • Create a Plan for Personal Change
 
Cost is $375. Early Bird Rate: $325.  Bring a Buddy: Both pay $250. 
 
For more information go to  www.santaferelationships.com  or call 505-231-9196.
 

CEU's offered for New Mexico Therapists for all of our workshops.
 

Imago Premarital Workshop
 
"Start Right, Stay Connected" 
 
 November 6, 8:30 AM -6 PM
  
  In this workshop you will learn ways to... 
  • Communicate effectively with your partner
  • Discover why the unconscious forces that attracted you to your partner may eventually also be the source of your relationship conflicts 
  • Remove negativity
  • Keep the romance, passion, fun and intimacy going in your relationship
  • Help with the wedding planning and not go crazy
  • Prevent an affair
  • Create a vision of where your relationship is headed
 This workshop is appropriate for you if:  
  • You are engaged to be married
  • You are not engaged, but are contemplating getting married
 
Go to www.santaferelationships.com for more information or to register.
 
 
Please help us spread the word to family and friends about these new workshops by using the "Forward email" link at the bottom of the page.