I turned 50 on Monday, after a great weekend of community connecting. New and old friends (ranging in age from 23 to 73) came to my house Saturday for a music jam and conversation that was truly heart-warming and fun. My kids had their groups of best buddies on hand, because of the connections to those parents I've made over the years. The next night, I went dancing with a friend for hours. On my actual birthday, I received in the mail a life book about ME that I'd created (since when aren't these photo/storybooks all about our children?). It was a quick chronicle of the highlights and images of my first five lives; I'm now in life 6 -- full-on motherhood -- with life 7 in view as my kids need me less. I shared the book with my loved ones, followed by dinner at our favorite sushi restaurant. Today... I get a tattoo!
Sometimes, it's nice to have it be all about Mom.
In this process of turning 50, I spent a lot of time reflecting back. What had my aspirations been when I was in my early 20s (I found the journals!)? How has life "measured up" since then?
Honestly, I read how earnest I was about career goals in my early 20s -- how little confidence I had socially -- already on the verge of being a workaholic. And now, as the mom of a young woman on the verge of 13, and an 8-year-old son, I can laugh at myself. Yes, that was me. And yes, that can still be me. But how wonderful it is to let go and transition and evolve into Who We Want To Be over time. Motherhood is great for that. Milestone birthdays are great for that. Setting new goals -- perhaps, more importantly, new dreams -- is great for that.
When I became a mother in 1999, my known donor asked why I wanted to leave the single, non-mom life behind. "I want to expose a child to all the amazing things you can do in the world," I replied.
I could have added, "And in doing so, discover all the amazing things I can do, too."
I welcome your stories. How are you embracing life, pre- or post-motherhood?
Share yours here at ChoiceMoms.org and celebrate with me.
