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Sticks and Stones
In the blink of an eye, your whole world can change.
It takes only one moment for a car to swerve, for a spark to ignite, for a grip to be lost. We tend to think of catastrophic events when we think of our world changing 'in the blink of an eye'. But, as with most things we can look at the flip side of that as well.
Sometimes changes are subtle but have a lasting effect. Often we have no idea how something we say or do affects someone else's thoughts, moods, or behaviours. Our world can be changed for the better in the blink of an eye as well.
The point being, that we often do not ever know the impact our actions have. When we are snippy with a cashier it may roll off her back or it may be the straw that breaks it. When we offer a helping hand to a stranger the ripple effect might be felt miles away.
If we can be conscious of our own actions, and how we communicate we can feel good about the impact we are having on those around us, the strangers we interact with daily and those we love. Our communication is so vital to how we are perceived, what we are able to convey, the impressions we make.
I was the grateful recipient of a massage a few days ago. As I arrived at the spa I was met by a lovely young woman who asked "Did you realize your appointment was at 1:00?" It was currently 1:20. "It was supposed to be at 1:30" was my quick reply.
This gracious young woman responded with "No problem, I will let them know you are here." As I reflected on my reaction I regretted that I had not simply said 'I thought it was for 1:30', I wondered why I had felt the need to be defensive rather than inquisitive. What a different feel it would have had to me, and I imagine to the receptionist as well.
Do you ever catch yourself reacting rather than responding?
For most of us our desire would be to show respect for others while communicating our thoughts, desires, and needs. We want to use communication to lead to greater understanding and acceptance, to draw us closer, to connect us. However, we may feel that our words do not always convey to others what is really going on inside of us. So how do we become more conscious of how we communicate and how we show up to the world in each moment?
With conscious communication, heart centered communication; we can evaluate our communication habits and evaluate them honestly. The familiar patterns of communication that we fall into are common ones that are shared by many of us. Like anything else once we examine our habits we can decide to change them if that is what serves us best.
When we can express our strong emotions and needs to others while staying connected as well as listening to other people express these to us, without judging or rescuing them we are using heart centered communication.
Only through practice can we become fluent in this new language. Conscious awareness is the first step. Listen to how you communicate. Are you keeping connection and understanding as your goals in both listening and speaking?
Sticks and stones can break bones or they can build bridges. Our words can hurt or they can heal. Being very intentional and aware of the power of the words we're using is a gift we can give every day to every person we interact with.
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The more we practice, within the safe and supportive container of a workshop, and with active facilitation and coaching, the quicker we are able to change our habits. Conscious communication will be one of the areas of focus in our upcoming group coaching program Women of Wonder. Watch for details to come in the next month in Peaceful Ponderings.
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Abundant Blessings: In this spot each newsletter I will feature a website I feel is worth checking out. They will be sites where you can share your abundant blessings. As we share our gifts with the world, our lives are enriched. This week you might want to check out 29 gifts |
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