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Giving and Receiving
"It is better to give than to receive". I don't believe it!
Somehow we have decided that to give is somehow benevolent/grand/superior, and to receive is somehow less than that. How did we decide that we (if we are the give-er) are somehow better than the person we are giving to? Without a receiver there is no giving. Giving and receiving can be compared to breathing. We breathe out (or give) and then to maintain our wellbeing we need to breathe in (or receive). Giving and receiving in equal proportion. If we are never willing to receive we rob the giver of the opportunity to fulfill that side or their equation.
To watch a small child can help us to understand the divine, the glory in both sides of the whole giving and receiving paradigm. A small child gives totally, without any expectation of reciprocation, they give to see the joy that their gift brings the recipient and they share in that joy honestly and wholeheartedly. And on the flip side of the coin they receive a gift whether a new toy, a cookie or a chance to share a moment watching a butterfly without any thought of being unworthy of the gift or worry of how to repay the giver.

A catholic priest on retreat at an inner city retreat centre sat on one of the benches in the centres expansive park like setting contemplating his commitment to his calling. Sitting there in his jeans and golf shirt, he remembered how strange it felt at first to where his collar, his vestments, and how today he questioned his worthiness to wear them. Like many of us there were days when he wondered if he was giving his parish everything he could. Deep in thought he was slightly startled when a seemingly homeless man pushing a shopping cart full of bottles and other found treasures walked up the centres driveway to where the priest sat. Leaving his cart on the roadway, the destitute looking man proceeded to walk over to the priest and sit down on the park bench. The priest felt a sense of intrusion. Here he was on retreat, seeking solitude. With a slight nod of acknowledgement he tried to focus on his own thoughts, all the while half expecting an interruption from the man on the bench. Minutes passed and priest started to relax and feel more comfortable with his uninvited companion. The two men sat in silence on the park bench sharing the warm summer sunshine and the view of the trees and small river flowing by in relative silence. The priest began to wonder if he should be offering something to this poor stranger when the homeless man spoke up. "Shall I offer you a blessing?" he said to the priest. Startled and maybe a bit bemused the priest accepted the offer.

The homeless man had been gone for over an hour when the priest finally rose from the bench to return to the retreat centre. He had sat in awe of the sense of great burden being lifted. He sat remembering the softness of the man's eyes as he spoke his very few words that had reached a place so deep within the priest.

How can we say it is better to give than to receive?

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In this season when many of us celebrate traditions that include the giving and receiving of gifts of many kinds, let us remember that both are of equal value, like breathing we are best sustained by an equal measure. And as the New Year begins we can continue to look forward to being open to receiving from unexpected places, without any thought of being unworthy of the gift or any worry of how to repay the giver and to give of ourselves without any expectation of reciprocation, simply giving to see the joy that the gift brings the recipient and to share in that joy honestly and wholeheartedly.

Merry Christmas!

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