Quite often an apt metaphor can convey a point better than anything else. A personal favorite is that of the ?monkey jar? and how it relates to how us humans often get ourselves stuck in an unwanted pattern.

In some warmer climates, expanding population growth has resulted in the need to clear jungle areas in order to build housing. Quite often this encroachment of humans has resulted in conflict with the animals that were there first. In particular, monkeys.

Aside from the cute and comical image most of us have of monkeys; they can actually be very destructive and disruptive when humans try to coexist with them. Thus the need sometimes arises to clear a village of these simian neighbors.

Since apes and humans are similar in many ways, there is a natural reluctance towards harming them. So, a more humane method of trapping was devised. A clay jar with a neck that tapers into a larger bottom is fastened to a tree. An orange that just fits through the neck is then placed into this ?monkey jar? and the trap is set.

The monkey will place his hand in the jar and try to grab the orange; however he cannot remove his hand as long as he holds onto the fruit. So the monkey is trapped by his simultaneous desire for both the free meal and his freedom, and will remain stuck indefinitely. It is then a simple matter for the villagers to attach a leash and collar to the monkey before breaking the jar (and hopefully letting him have the orange!) and leading him away to a more remote location.

Are we really that much different? Consider some area you feel stuck in and look for the conflicting goals and desires. Can you hold onto the smoking habit and still have a longer, healthier life to share with the people you love and care for? Highly doubtful. Is it possible to have wonderful friendships and still insist on always being right? I wouldn?t bet on it. Can you have a slim and trim body and continually given into the immediate gratification of junk food? No. We can avoid making monkeys of ourselves if we can remember that many times we have to let go of one thing to get another!

Our financial life can be a significant source of stress and distress. Yet it is something we all have to deal with. This month's Creative Calm Guest Columnist Rebecca Fine shares with us a humorous reframing technique that can lighten some of the emotional baggage related to the pursuit of material success.