'You is kind. You is smart. You is important.'
-Aibileen Clark, (aka Viola Davis, The Help)
 

Ever work with someone who just doesn't 'get it'? Or have you ever been in a meeting where everyone else has been on board with a new idea and you are the one who just simply doesn't 'get it'?
 

Embracing Aibileen's philosophy above, when someone doesn't 'get it' (whatever it is I'm trying to engage them on) in the way that I do.....I resolutely believe that there is something more at play that I need to work through.

It is a situation that causes me to stop and 
ask the question: 'why is there a disconnect?'.

And, there's no consistent favorable
 side of this coin to embrace.

Being the one who 'gets it' could suggest that you're a brilliant, forward thinking, completely anabolic leader.   Or, it might also suggest that you're an irrational, act-before-you-think leader who'll embrace whatever is the
last flashy idea you hear.
 
Conversely, being the one who 'doesn't get it' might suggest that you are a slow acting, over-your-head leader who's trapped in the kind of limited thinking that has earned you the role of team curmudgeon. Or, it could mean that you are a methodical, risk-averse leader who makes measured well-thought out decisions based on facts, not emotions.
 

So how can you identify what 'getting or not getting it'
truly means for you?

 First is to check external blocks:
are there words or concepts that require more information in order to understand? Is there a condition that causes distraction from listening- either noise or a pressing business need? Is there source credibility with the person delivering the information?
 

Next, go internal: 
here's where the Big 4 from the last Second Cup come into play (Assumptions, Interpretations, Limiting Beliefs, and the Inner Critic). The Big 4 can block you from seeing 'IT' for as simple a reason as they keep you locked into your own perceived obstacles versus the possibilities.
 

Now, apply a four step process:
 

1. Define IT: in a factual concise, small-worded way
2. Humanize IT: identify who is the primary person impacted by this
3. Prioritize it: How does this rank for that primary person?
Scale 1-10 with 10 meaning game/life changing
and 1 meaning just slightly
4: Personalize it: in a factual concise way, connect it to you

If you've worked through this process,
the question shifts from:

'Do you get it?'
to
'Will you embrace it?"

And that is a very different conversation that puts
the ball back into play in a powerful way. 
 

Greetings!  ,for sharing your second cup with me.   

Mike