My kids have told me I'm a telemarketer's worst nightmare.
The reason:
Before I allow the caller to launch into a scripted chat with me, I force him/her to answer two questions...
Who are you? What do you want?
(I am that blunt)
 

In a matter of seconds, I can make an intelligent decision about how to make use of my time right then. If the caller and his purpose are of relevance to me - I'm all in, fully engaged.
If not...the call is over.

Sometimes, though, if the person's approach angers me, I'll tell the caller what he wants to hear and make him think he has a 'hot lead' when, in fact, this lead freezes the
moment the phone is hung up.
 

There's an important leadership engagement lesson here:
 

Whether it's as overt as the telemarketer example or not, EVERYONE you come in contact with performs a similar screening process about you. Your ability to quickly and succinctly establish who you are and what you want will directly impact whether you get polite interaction, predictable and formulaic responses or full-on engagement.
 

Some of the most important work I do with clients who are seeking to 'amp up their game' is to help them with this very important foundation of self-awareness.

And while the answers to these questions require some degree of situational differentiation, the consistent key to showing up strong in this area of self-leadership is to be succinct.
Less is definitely more.

Try this leadership tool exercise:

1. Think about a relationship/partnership in your world that is either broken or not yielding its potential.
2. Clearly describe your specific role in the relationship.
3. Identify the way in which your organization (or situation) has empowered you to manage the relationship.
4. Articulate what a 'fixed' relationship/partnership
would look like.
 

Now, before you reach out to the person on the 'other' side of the relationship, spend some time developing your answers
to these two questions, forcing
yourself to adhere to a three word limit:

Who are you in three words or less?
What do you want in three words or less?
 

A challenge I encourage you to stick with, because with time and practice, it can quickly become one of your
strongest leadership engagement tools. 

  

 Thanks for sharing your Second Cup with me!

 Mike