Between the years of 1964 and 1978, not a Saturday morning went by that my brother and/or I weren't in the grips of the weekly ritual of helping our grandmother with the task of cleaning the Bar Room that she owned in the small town in which we grew up. In an almost religiously inspired dogmatic process, she had a very specific methodology that guided the way in which dining chairs were stacked, bar stools were wiped down, and sections of floor were mopped with nothing other than 'Spic and Span' floor cleaner. It was a painful few hours of work that I was sure would ultimately prove to be my demise.
As I recall, I hated every moment of every Saturday morning I was in that bar and spent the 2 ½ block walk to her Bar and my home in silent, expletive seething that my lot in life was so unfair.
To this day, the scent of 'Spic and Span' will evoke powerful memories of the structure, discipline and unyielding inflexibility there was to any suggestion or hint of change to the ritual.
But looking at the ritual with 50 yr old eyes, I am seeing a very different side to the experience. The bar-cleaning ritual on Saturday mornings was a non-negotiable, it was an absolute in my life....one that survived the test of time, economic misfortune, poor health, earnest teenage negotiations, viable out-sourcing options, and even death.
If it's Saturday morning.......by God, that bar room was cleaned!
What is evident to me now, is the powerful way in which this ritual served to provide the framework around which the 'rest of life' was managed and dealt with. The structure, as seemingly constricting as it felt at times, actually gave anchor to the chaotic ways of life that eluded our ability to 'control' and 'manage'.
And, so it's logical to look at the way in which rituals impact leadership effectiveness.
A quick exercise:
Write down one or two of your own personal non-negotiables that you feel define your leadership style and methodology. Be as specific as possible, i.e. your meticulous position on punctuality, or your scrupulous attention to grammar......or your unyielding position about personal dignity and respect.
Now, validate the clarity of these non-negotiables with 2 or 3 of your team members whom you trust to give you honest feedback.
If there's a disconnect - your inner desires are not reflected by your external behaviors....one of them needs to be adjusted.
If there's validation - be aware of it, recognize how impactful it is, and understand the role it plays in making you a successful leader.
If you're having trouble with any parts of this exercise, try taking a quick sniff of the floor cleaner in your household cleaner cabinet......it always does the trick for me.
