The Second Cup

How comfortable are you with contradictions? Are you someone who seeks out the definitive answers that leave little room for interpretation or complexity? or are you the kind of person that is able to roam freely in the 'grey' areas of life and business?

One of the most stifling words in the English language is the word 'BUT'. Take a look at the restrictive nature of how this small word negates, diminishes, and dismisses the powerful words preceeding it. As you read each sentence pay close attention to how the 'BUT' impacts your feelings about what you've just read:

We have hit our sales quota for the year....BUT, the T&E spend is 25% over budget
.
Mary is an excellent public speaker....BUT, she embellishes facts.

We finally landed that new target account....BUT, it's going to be a resource drain on the account team.

I have lost 15 pounds.....BUT, I have 15 more to lose.

Notice that the 2nd half of each sentence implants the subtle suggestion that the 1st half content might somehow be suspect or somewhat less because of what follows the 'BUT. How might this influence your response to the news in the first half of the sentence?

As a leader, it's important to recognize the there will always be seeming contradictions, conflicting impacts, and hard/soft costs for our successes. There is rarely a situation that is pure black or pure white, all good or all bad, totally positive or totally negative. And the people we lead, will be a robust fusion of many qualities and character traits that both impress us and challenge our patience.

I suggest that you consider recognizing the power of contradictions as a way of leading your team toward a more open, dynamic, and collaborative way of working.

It is subtle , yet dramatic, to accept situations as being both black AND white, good AND bad, positive AND negative.

Take a look at how simply replacing the word 'BUT' with the word 'AND' changes the entire tone of the earlier sentences; as before pay attention to your feelings toward what you read:

We have hit our sales quota for the year....AND, the T&E spend is 25% over budget.

Mary is an excellent public speaker....AND, she embellishes facts.

We finally landed that new target account....AND, it's going to be a resource drain on the account team.

I have lost 15 pounds .....AND, I have 15 more to lose.

The small, but inclusive word 'AND' creates the space and gives permission to embrace both, without diminishing or negating the value and role of either. As a leader, what kinds of thoughts do these sentences now evoke?

Looking forward to our next time,

Mike Malinchok, CPC

President

S2K Consulting, LLC

215-504-7091