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THINK ABOUT THIS:
In our life,
pain is inevitable......
suffering is optional.
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Mike Malinchok
(with S and the 2 K's)
S2K Consulting, LLC offers one-on-one executive coaching, team coaching, and leadership training.
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Greetings!
'I'm more critical of myself than anyone esle could possibly be'
" No one is tougher on me than me....."
Sound familiar? How many of us beat ourselves up, over and over again, about - well - everything! I should have done this differently or better, I shouldn't have done that at all, I shouldn't have said what I did, I should have expressed what I really felt. If only I were a better person (mother, father, spouse, friend, coworker, boss) I'd have reacted differently, if only I had studied harder, if only I had cared more, if only I had cared less. Why didn't I take a stand, why didn't I reach out to a friend? Should have, shouldn't have, if only, why didn't I....and you can fill in your own words. However you phrase the thoughts that you castigate yourself with, it's catabolic energy that keeps you stuck and holds you back.
We have an easier time forgiving other people than we do ourselves, because we don't personalize other people's actions as much. It's often easier to feel compassion towards others, because we can rationalize that they were doing the best that they could at the time (which is true!). But it's more difficult to extend that compassion toward ourselves.
When our inner critics tell us that we're not good enough and that we've done something wrong, many of us believe the words that we tell ourselves. It's tough to forgive yourself if, at your core, you believe you're not good enough. Self-forgiveness begins when you allow yourself to understand that you are good enough and that in fact, you're perfect. Each of us is perfect, and although we sometimes do, say, or think things that we wish we hadn't, a key to self-forgiveness is not to judge ourselves because of that - to have compassion for ourselves. Instead, when we notice that something doesn't really feel good, we can look at it as an opportunity to grow and say, "What is it that I'm doing here that doesn't fit into my puzzle? What's not working here for me?" and then, to just simply make an adjustment.
Highly conscious people see things that don't work out and grow from their experiences. They don't give heed to, and in fact, many don't even hear, that inner critic. People with a lot of catabolic energy, however, have their deepest fears reinforced and they continue the cycle of self-blame. Isn't it time to break the cycle? In the words of Saint Francis de Sales...
Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.
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Looking forward to our next time,
Mike Malinchok, CPC
President
S2K Consulting, LLC
ph: 215-504-7091
email: mmalinchok@verizon.net
www.s2konpurpose.com |
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