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Mike Malinchok, CPC
S2K Consulting, LLC offers one-on-one executive coaching, team coaching, and leadership coaching. You can choose to follow the Energy Leadership Development System, a focused one-on-one coaching program that is customized based on your specific goals and objectives, or we can create a unique program for your development.
Summer 2009 tele-workshop series:
· JULY 7 - Act II:
Strategies for the next stage of your life
· JULY 21 - Single Parenting on Purpose:
creating the framework for being the best parent you can be
· AUGUST 4 - Deflating the Divorce Demons:
The five things you MUST do to set yourself up to
thrive, not just survive
AUGUST 18- Fierce Conversations:
Identify them, engage in them, and move on
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| Greetings!
It's summer time, and for many us that means taking some much needed vacation time with family. For those of us who travel often for business, it's often the case that the process of packing for a business trip has become a well-rehearsed dance that can be completed in minutes with the standard fare of 2 oz toiletries, mixable collection of same-color wardrobe, and creatively stashed workout gear. But I have found that packing for a trip with my family takes on an entirely new and unchartered path. The number of bags grows exponentially as each of my children begin to think about and plan for every possible 'contingency' of the journey. They are young enough to understand our environment will change....but not yet seasoned enough to see the possibility of learning from and enjoying the new environment. Instead, they tend to be focused on being certain that they have some level of ability to re-create their familiar environment in the new, temporary environment of our hotel, campsite, or car ride.
If you think about it, for many of us facing life's changes we can fall into the same pattern. As a protection, we want to pack as much 'baggage' as possible so that we are somehow prepared for what we think we are facing. The problem is............carrying all that baggage takes up space and energy. AND, it keeps us weighed down to what we've left. Read on and see if you can identify any type of baggage you might be taking on your journey this summer that you might be better served leaving at home. |
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A warrior accepts that we can never know what will happen to us next. Pema Chodron |
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In the last issue of the Second Cup newsletter, we discussed Self-Fate and how, because we are making choices based on our past experiences, we cannot change our future unless the control of the past is removed. We need to learn to make conscious choices, choices that are made in the present moment, without all the emotional "baggage" we carry around.
You can think of that baggage as being packed in four kinds of suitcases - the "Big 4" energy blocks that we carry around with us that dictate how we see the world and that hold us back from reaching our unlimited potential.
The first suitcase contains your limiting beliefs. Beliefs can either help you or hinder you; limiting beliefs are those that hold you back from success. If you do not believe something is possible, you're not likely to attempt it. Even if you do attempt it, you won't devote much energy to achieving that goal.
Limiting beliefs are general beliefs about the world, your environment and situation, and the people around you that stand in your way. More often than not, you accept a limiting belief as true because you've learned it from someone else, or from an "authority," such as the media, a book, or a movie. You assume that it's "just the way it is."
Here is a classic example of a limiting belief: Up until 1954, it was commonly held that running a mile in under four minutes was impossible. Moreover, physiologists believed it was extremely dangerous even to attempt it. Yet on May 6 of that year, Roger Bannister crossed the finish line in 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds, thereby disproving the myth forever.
It's remarkable that Bannister accomplished his feat. It required that he completely ignore the prevailing, limiting belief and construct an entirely different belief system for himself. What others saw as a limitation, he perceived as opportunity. And once he disproved the presumed limits of the human body, less than two months later, another runner, John Landy, broke Bannister's record with a mile dash of 3 minutes and 57.9 seconds. What's more, within just a few years, dozens of runners were leaving the four-minute mark in the dust.
Here are a couple of common limiting beliefs that hold many of us back:
You have to work really hard to achieve success.
Successful people are lucky.
You have to have money to make money.
It's who you know, not what you know that really counts.
There are several ways to challenge limiting beliefs. You can explore the effect the belief has had on your life, look for proof of its truth (or lack of proof), or modify the belief or aspects of the belief to better serve you. Simply examining the belief with questions like "How true do I believe that is?" and the rhetorical "Where did I get that idea?" can also work remarkably well. Once you overcome limiting beliefs, they can no longer hold you back.
This week, think about examining the contents of your limiting beliefs suitcase. Unpack it, and see how much lighter you feel.
In the next issue, we'll continue with the next of the Big 4 suitcases, the assumptions we make.
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RECOMMENDED READING:
Comfortable with Uncertainty
by Pema Chodron
Shambhala Publications, Inc. 2002
This book, by a renowned American Buddhist nun offers short, stand-alone readings designed to cultivate awareness and compassion amid the challenges of daily living. Through the course of the book, readers will learn practical methods for heightening awareness and overcoming habitual patterns that create blocks. In today's 'uncertain' economy, Pema's teachings bring a perspective to our concerns and fears of uncertainty in a way that opens up new paths to not only get comfortable with it, but to embrace and learn important lessons from it.
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So, take a cue from the airlines as a metaphor for your life:
'Only ONE carry-on-bag allowed.'
Thanks for sharing your second cup with me. |
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Travel light,
Mike Malinchok, CPC
President
S2K Consulting, LLC
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