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Our mood is not inevitable. It does not just happen. Our thoughts and our feelings come up of their own accord, and we find the way to deal with them as they do. Our mood, however, is the result of habit, or our choice. Left to our own devices, the mood we have usually will be habit. And if we allow our habit to determine our mood, it's simply because we are not making the choice that is ours to make.
An example: if I have an audition and don't get the job, I may experience frustration, anger, disappointment. I may have thoughts that the world is b.s., acting is b.s., I'm worthless, etc. But the mood that may accompany this experience, that may seem like the natural outgrowth of these thoughts and feelings--listlessness, hopelessness, self-pity, despair--this is not inevitable. This is a habit. I can explain my mood by telling you what happened to me, but that doesn't make it the cause of my mood. These factors seem to have a cause and effect relationship with my mood, but in fact they do not. Rather, my mood often times seems simply to be lying around in wait for an excuse to become present, and life inevitably will furnish me with that excuse. But my mood, in the end, is a choice.
How do I change my mood? By changing my point of view. To return to the example of the unsuccessful audition: if I am using this experience to feel bad, I am seeing it from the point of view of one who needs or wants a job and who has failed, who needs approval and has failed, who needs to prove his worth--to himself or his agent or his parents or some imaginary group in his mind--and has failed. I've failed, I'm not worthy, poor me. Etc. Or...
I can say, my God, what an amazing life that I have the opportunity to come in here and have an experience with these people, professionals in my chosen field who have invited me to share something with them. They are willing to watch me create right in front of them, to walk the razor's edge of the unknown, to take a chance and see what happens. They are giving me a forum within which to practice my art and craft. How many people in the world at large are having this opportunity at this moment? It is a vanishingly small number of people. How many people right here in Hollywood who would love to have an audition are having one today? A very, very small number of people.
From this point of view, the success lies in the fact of having the opportunity in the first place, doing my work, showing up and giving 100%. Whether or not I am hired for the job is not even my concern.
My mood is a choice. My point of view is a choice. Each time I choose to see the world as a place of opportunity and myself as a vital part of it, I am building a muscle that will make the next choice easier. I am habituating a new point of view that progressively will make my life easier to enjoy.
Today I will find a way to be grateful for my life and for the facts of my life, exactly as they are.
Union Square, Rain, Manhattan, NY NY
All material copyright JeffKoberMeditation |
