When we look at our subjective experience of the world, we can see that there are times we are completely present, and times when we seem to be a million miles away. Someone will speak to us and we'll become aware that we have no idea what they said, only a dim notion that they've asked a question and now are awaiting a response. Or we'll be reading a book and suddenly realize we have no idea what the last two pages had to say.
Where are we at those times? In speculation. We are replaying a scene we enjoyed, or wish had gone differently. We're playing out a scene we think may happen in the future, or one we'd like to have happen in the future, or one we dread may happen in the future. In every case, we are taking ourselves out of present moment awareness.
In our practice of Vedic meditation we remind ourselves that speculation leads only to suffering. How can this be so? Don't we have to think about things?
Of course there are plans that have to be made. If I'm calling up the deli to order a take-out lunch, it would be good if I had an idea beforehand of what I might like to order. Or if I'm talking to the IRS or a lawyer or a judge or a boss or an employee about something specific, it will be good if I have prepared at least an outline of what needs to be covered. But this is not speculation. This is using the mind for what it does best: providing a structure based mostly on prior experience. Speculation is when I start to think about talking to the IRS and, rather than putting my ducks in a row, begin to fret over what they might ask that I haven't thought of, and what then, and what then, etc. We work ourselves into a stew over things that may never happen.
I have a rule for myself: if there's a problem, no matter how big it is, if I have done everything that can be done today toward solving it, and I have a fairly good idea of what I can do about it tomorrow, I don't get to think about it anymore. I don't get to worry about it going badly or fantasize about it going well. I don't get to play out all the possible scenarios. Then I get involved in something else--doing the dishes or working on photos, reading a book, visiting with a friend, watching a movie, taking a walk--and insisting as I'm doing these things that I be present. That as I do the dishes, my thoughts are on the dishes. That talking to my friend, I find out what's happening in her life, rather than making her listen to my speculations about my own.
We labor under the illusion that if we think these things out just so we will be able to find happiness or avoid pain, this in spite of the fact that we never yet have been able to accomplish either of these goals; and we end up causing ourselves, and those around us, discomfort, and yes, even suffering, by going over and over and over every possible eventuality, blaming whomever it is who put us in this situation (ourselves included, or our parents for not raising us differently, or...).
The truth is that the solution to every problem is in present moment awareness. If I'm practicing speculation all night, speculation is what I'll bring to the table tomorrow. If I'm practicing present moment awareness, that is what I'll bring to the table tomorrow, giving myself a much better shot at seeing just how to solve the apparent problem at hand.
Today I will seek to spend more time with my mind in the present moment than in the future or the past.  Sky Over Midwest, American Airlines Flight 4, LAX to JFK All material copyright Jeff Kober |
