I began seeking a 'spiritual solution' to the problems of my life early on, after an experience where I had a very clear vision of a flame in the center of my chest that was just about to flicker out. I knew somehow that if it did go out, I would be dead in some fashion. Not physically, but in my soul, perhaps. It scared me, deeply. And so I began to look for some answers.
My first foray into Eastern thought was through the Chinese. The I Ching and the Tao Te Ching. The Tao Te Ching is an expression in verse form of the philosophy of Taoism, often translated as 'the Way.' The way toward what? we may ask. The way toward harmony with the universe. It is very Vedic in this regard: the idea that we may uncover an experience of oneness, or at least akin to oneness. Universe may be seen as meaning 'one song,' and while the term 'harmony' implies at least two voices, at least they are voices that are singing in the same key.
The symbol for Taoism is the yin/yang symbol, that circle divided by an S-curve into equal parts black and white. This represents the ever-changing nature of the universe, the flowing of life from one 'way' to another. If there is a storm, it is certain to be followed by calm. Night most assuredly is followed by day. Like that. This is the gist of what I was able to ascertain early on in my reading, that the only certain thing was change. I cannot tell you how angry this made me.
In retrospect I can see that I was looking for an experience of life that was free of pain, of discomfort, of uncertainty. I was in fact looking for a perfection that, once attained, I could freeze in time and just stay there; as if I could take a Polaroid of everything just so, and finally know peace. The idea that this was impossible, that no matter what happened or what I accomplished it inevitably would change, this idea made me crazy. It scared me. It made me question why I would even try. If change is the only constant, then what's the point?
When I began my study of the Veda, I found a similar idea. The Veda, too, says that change is inevitable; however, it adds something to the mix. The Veda says that there only ever is one thing going on in nature, in me, and that one thing is change. But it is progressive change. Evolution. Everything always is moving in the direction of greater wholeness, greater happiness, greater productivity, regardless of how it may appear at any given moment.
With this, we may learn to embrace change; and not only to embrace it, but indeed to seek it out as a friend and ally, rather than see it as an enemy to be avoided and controlled to the best of our abilities.
The nature of the Tao Is to eternally return, The manner of the Tao Is yielding. The life of all creatures Flows from Existence, But Existence itself Is grounded in stillness. The Tao Te Ching, A New Version for All Seekers, translated by Guy Leekley
Today I will try to see evidence of evolution in my life, even in those places my life seems to be going to hell in a handbasket.  Lamp Posts, L.A. County Museum of Art, Miracle Mile
All material copyright Jeff Kober |
