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It is our job here on the planet to know ourselves as perfect, whole and complete. When we haven't done the work to accomplish this, we present a partial, needy self to the world. From this place, we can attract predators--those who want just to feed off of us. These are people looking to have their needs fulfilled, but who do not want to have to show up for a relationship. Chances are that they, too, feel like partial humans. They, too, are looking to be fulfilled by someone else. They may come to me knowing I'm not Mr. Right, but willing to take Mr. Right Now, as the saying goes. It won't cost them much; for if they're with someone who is less than 100% of a person, it will require less than 100% of them to show up.
There's nothing wrong with doing this. We're all human. We have needs, as it were, to fulfill. And when we don't know how to give to ourselves, there is an undeniable urge to find the fulfillment of these needs wherever we can. We're often willing to make these sorts of deals with each other. But then somewhere we forget this is what we've done. We behave as if we're having a complete relationship with this other person. And then when we begin to change and grow upward from the 50% our "partner" had us pegged for, we're shocked to find them unsupportive of our growth. Remember, they made a deal for us to be partial so they could remain partial. When we try to move beyond that partial self, they're going to make us pay the price, as in, "who do you think you are to think you can ask for more, to think you deserve anything from me?"
Finding ourselves in a relationship like this is just another opportunity for growth. Another way to show ourselves, for the universe to show us, that we have work to do. We have wholeness to uncover. It's a road sign pointing us in the direction where love lies waiting; the place where we begin to love ourselves, begin to love nature within ourselves, and begin to become capable then of loving nature within someone else.
Today I will know myself as perfect, whole and complete, no matter what the voice of negativity in my head has to say.
Half a Cat, Studio City
All material copyright Jeff Kober
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