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It is said that holding a resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Truly, a resentment does nothing to the one resented; rather, it causes misery for the one with the resentment. When we hold onto a resentment, legitimate or not, the net effect is that we feel bad. We feel uncomfortable. We feel hatred, indignation, rage, anger; victimized, persecuted, martyred. What we don't feel, ever, is relief. Yet we persist. With the idea that we are right. And if we stay right long enough, strong enough, the person who is wrong, who wronged us, will see the error of his ways and will have the common decency to... to what? Suffer in abject misery? Melt with shame? Give their life over in service to us? Never, ever enjoy themselves again? Die?
In the simplest of terms, holding onto a resentment is an insistence on not seeing the truth; for the truth of this moment does not include the ugliness, real or imagined, of the past. The truth of this moment is not about darkness, but about light. The truth of this moment is that it is my responsibility to seek to love, everyone and everything. The monsters as well as the angels. And if someone from my past is an actual monster, to me, actually is dangerous, then I simply love them from a bit farther away.
Today I will find in my mind a resentment I am holding, and I will imagine a life for myself that is so big, that is so filled with abundance and joy that I happily am able to allow that resentment to melt away in the flow of love that fills my days.
Moon Over Ganges, Rishikesh, India
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