|
The mind is a brilliant historian. This is its function. It can take what we have been through and describe for us what happened and why it happened. In this way we have the opportunity to learn from our experiences, to learn from the experiences of others, to suggest to ourselves alternative approaches to upcoming experiences.
The problem is that the mind is not always correct in its assessment. So when we use the mind as our point of reference, as our center of identity, we can end up missing the point, missing the moment and missing out on the opportunity to learn more.
We have a local market where sometimes I shop three days in a row, or every other day for a week. I'm there a lot. I am friendly with nearly everyone there, on a first name basis with some and recently my son and I bought a birthday present for one of the checkers. But there was this one woman. Shut down. Angry. Didn't pay enough attention to me. Didn't allow me to charm her. At all. Wouldn't even look at me. Ever. Really. It bothered me.
My mind told me every possible reason why she didn't like me. None of them were very pleasant.
One day this past January I was getting groceries, the place was packed. Big lines. Except at her register. When I was standing in front of her I noticed a passport, a hole punched in the corner, hanging by a hook from the breast of her ski jacket. (It was cold that day and she'd been working outside.) Because I spend time each day practicing being something other than my mind, I found myself asking, "Excuse me. I don't mean to be intrusive, but why do you have a passport hanging from your jacket?"
She replied, "It reminds me [mumble, mumble]..."
"I'm sorry. What?"
"My husband died two years ago. We just went through the holidays, and when all you have are your memories, it can be pretty lonely. So this reminds me of who he was and what I had. I wear it for that."
I don't know if it helped her to have that conversation or not. I like to think it did. I know that for me it was poignant and profound, not at all what I would have expected when I set out for cat food and bottled water, but one of those gems of experience that help to define a part of one's life. It was one more wake-up call that there is a life to be had that is so much richer than the one I would give myself if I were to listen to all the reasons my mind can give me not to engage.
Today I will consciously put aside my history and my judgment of some place or some person to see what I might see if this were the first time.
Cow Skull on Outhouse , Young's Point, Montana
| 
