Yesterday, on the way out of town, we stopped at a railroad crossing near the old farm. My sister and my cousins and I used to walk the rails while we waited for the school bus. I wanted to take a picture there. As I crouched down in the gravel to get my shot, my father's cousin pulled up on his little 4-wheel Honda to chat. Told me about our family history, how my great-grandfather and the clan worked their way up from Galveston, 1903, making it finally to this place in Montana around 1911. As we spoke, it was as if every soul that has passed through our lives and before, all the memories, the loved ones, all of them were gathered there in appreciation of these two men appreciating each other. Suddenly there were tears. These are two men, Montana men, German stock, peasants for generations. Tears? Never. Not, that is, until now.
We build our mythology, our history, to explain to ourselves the facts of our lives, the facts of our experience. When we meditate and put ourselves into the hands of nature, we begin to heal from everything ever that was harsh or painful, that was separative, that made us feel alone. That made us feel unworthy and incapable of love. This was the family legacy that no longer is. What is, today, is this: two men embracing by the side of the road, one generation to another, in acknowledgement of all the mistakes, the falling downs, and all the getting back ups, and of all the love that is there, that must be there, because no one suffers the way some of us learned to suffer unless we had a ton of love to cover up.
We embrace our nature, the oneness that we are. We let go of the separation of the ego that would keep us apart. We shine a light on the beauty in the history of right now and it enlightens the history of a century ago and the healing flows down through the years, changing everything and everyone, changing fear and judgment to love. And when we are awake and aware, we are here to catch it.
Today I will look for love, even if at first glance what's coming toward me may feel like judgment.
