It's spring, a season of celebration. And for me, one of the most beautiful celebrations of everything we do is a Gateways student's bar or bat mitzvah. When a Jewish child with special needs stands before family and friends proudly holding the Torah, it never fails to bring tears to my eyes.     

Teacher Rebecca Redner studies Hebrew with her student.

Not too long ago (and sadly it's still true in too many communities), many children with special needs could not hope to experience this Jewish rite of passage.

But, thanks to so many visionaries -- parents, donors, educators, rabbis and our federation (Combined Jewish Philanthropies) -- that's no longer the case in Greater Boston. Of course Gateways bar and bat mitzvahs don't just happen. Many of these young adults have been students in our Sunday morning Jewish Education Program. They've also completed Gateways' innovative two-year Bar/Bat Mitzvah Preparation Program, putting Hebrew, the prayer service and Jewish values into the hands of children with a range of abilities and disabilities. These youngsters also coalesce into a community of peers that's truly inspiring, coming together to celebrate each other's bar and bat mitzvahs. This community often includes their parents and siblings who connect - and share resources -- with other families living with similar challenges.  

Thinking back on all the Gateways bar/bat mitzvahs I've been to - from the girl with cerebral palsy who used a Powerpoint presentation to "recite" the blessings, to the boy with autism who engaged in a question-and-answer with his rabbi as his dvar Torah, to the boy who's deaf who signed his Torah reading, to the girl who's developmentally delayed and learned to read Hebrew, thanks to Gateways' innovative Hebrew curriculum -- each one fills me with boundless pride ... and boundless hope.

I see in each of their faces a sense of belonging and what it means to be a Jew living in today's world, which will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy spring!

Arlene

Arlene Remz

Executive Director 

Voice at the Gates: Ethan Gottlieb

A Gateways Bar Mitzvah Story 

Ethan and his parents

Ethan was only 5 when his parents first brought him through the door of Gateways' Sunday morning Jewish Education Program, then Etgar L'Noar. Eight years later, the last two spent on bar mitzvah preparation, the Westford, MA youngster was ready to become a bar mitzvah.

None of the key players - his parents, the Gateways staff and volunteers and certainly not Ethan himself -- would hear of letting his autism prevent him from reaching this milestone of Jewish life.

One of those players was Gateways' Jewish Education Program Coordinator Nancy Mager, who first met Ethan when he was 8 years old. "He was a bundle of energy," she recalls. "He didn't sit still, and spent most of the time walking the halls."

But what she didn't know then "was that Ethan was learning -- on his own terms. He was picking up more than we ever dreamed." And, when he began preparing for his bar mitzvah, Mager knew he'd need a special kind of tutor. "It took a while to locate the right one but, after a few months, I knew I'd found her." Vicki Freidman was an experienced special educator, someone Mager knew would "get" Ethan as soon as she began working with him. "Then she'd see what he's capable of." 

"At Gateways Ethan found people who care about him, people who taught him to read Hebrew, people who prayed with him," says his mom, Marla Richmond.

Ethan's Bar Mitzvah Story

This was not to be the Gottlieb-Richmond family's first Gateways bar mitzvah however. Older son Jacob who is deaf became a bar mitzvah in 2007.  But his parents knew things needed to be different for Ethan. For one thing, they decided not to have the bar mitzvah in their temple, feeling Ethan's Gateways classroom would feel more familiar and comfortable. "It's a place where he's completely at home," says his mom.

Ethan running outside on the day of his Bar Mitzvah

His teachers began with  file folder activities that familiarized Ethan with bar mitzvah skills such as holding the Torah and wearing a kippah. To help Ethan learn how to participate in his bar mitzvah service, the method of task analysis was used to create visual supports that break down complex tasks such as putting on a tallit and dressing the Torah into sequential steps presented in words and pictures. His teachers also began taping Ethan's bar mitzvah learning. "We had the laptop's video-camera rolling during each lesson so we would be able to show his friends and family how much progress he'd made," says Mager.

Viewing the videos, it became obvious that Ethan was making tremendous strides, reading prayers in both English and Hebrew. "It was more than we ever thought possible," she adds. "And we were absolutely delighted. Now that we knew the knowledge was in there, we had to figure out a way to get him comfortable enough to lead a service in front of his friends and family."

 Click here to continue reading Ethan's Bar Mitzvah Story.