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"If a teacher told me to revise, I thought that meant my writing was a broken-down car that needed to go to the repair shop. I felt insulted. I didn't realize the teacher was saying, 'Make it shine. It's worth it.' Now I see revision as a beautiful word of hope. It's a new vision of something. It means you don't have to be perfect the first time. What a relief!"

Naomi Shihab Nye

American poet, songwriter, and novelist

Born 1952

Special thanks to my faithful editor, Liz Willis, who improves my newsletter every month. 

Can you find more misplaced modifiers?

Recently, I was teaching a Business Writing class at Denver Water. One participant told me before class that he would have to leave for a few hours.

"A meeting?" I asked. "No, possibly an emergency root canal," he responded. "I'm crushed," I said. "You would rather have a root canal than attend my writing class?"

Fortunately, he was back in an hour, grinning because he didn't need that emergency dental work after all. He enjoyed the class and admitted that it was far less painful than a root canal.

Greetings!

Summertime, and the writing is easy.

HA! Writing is never easy, but I hope these tips help you write more easily.

And for those of you who have been asking for webinars, please see my invitation to Bite the bullet: How not to kill your presentation with your slides. Join us! 

For eleven years, I have stumbled over a large box of family photos in my garage. Every New Year, I vow to organize these thousand-plus photos into albums so I can show them to the grandkids and their parents. One year, I bought all the plastic sleeves I would need and threw them into the box. And still, I made no progress on the project.

Finally, propelled by an upcoming family reunion in the Rockies, I'm on it! In April, I committed to work on the photo project one hour per day. I have just finished placing each photo into a sleeve and each sleeve in chronological order. Next, I'll select the 200 best pictures spanning 100 years and make a DVD show for my family. It feels so good to finally move ahead on this project.

I think my "photo block" resembles my "writer's block." I had great intentions to start this project way back, but it just seemed so overwhelming! I knew it would take up to 100 hours to complete, and I couldn't figure out where I was going to get a 100-hour chunk of time to work on it. Well, guess what: I never did find a CHUNK of 100 hours. What I found was smaller chunks: one hour a day, seven days a week, minus my travel weeks, and I'm now more than halfway through.

And so it might go with your writing projects. "Gotta write a report by Friday! Darn...that will take me at least eight hours. Let's see; where in the calendar do I have a whole work day to devote to this project?" You know what eventually happens...you put it off until you have to rush to get it written in less than four hours on Friday morning, ignoring phone calls and skipping meetings and stressing out.

What if you set aside a small chunk of time each day to work on your writing project? Perhaps on Monday morning while waiting for a meeting to start, you brainstorm or cluster whatever is in your head that should be in the report. Later that afternoon, a meeting is canceled. Devote that hour to drafting your report. Then draft two more hours on Tuesday by stealing away to a conference room with your laptop.

You get the picture: You will need to project-manage your document by dividing it into manageable chunks and moving ahead through each smaller task. (Project managers call this "execution," but that seems a bit macabre. I prefer the term "moving ahead.")

By Friday, you'll be polishing your draft for final submission, right on time.

Still doubtful? Let me share another example. In 2005, I moved myself and my business from Minnesota to Colorado. I had 10 weeks to buy my condo in Colorado, sell my townhouse in Minnesota, downsize by 50%, work every day, and pack.

I could have become overwhelmed, but instead I "chunked" my tasks; for example, I set a goal of packing one (and hopefully two) boxes every day. When moving day arrived, there was a mountain of boxes stacked neatly in the garage. None of the work was easy, but at least I wasn't pulling all-nighters the night before the movers came.

My advice to all writers is just "Get a process...any process that works for you...and work that process." Remember the famous quote: "I don't like to write, but I like to have written." Likewise, I don't like to move, but I liked to "have moved."

In language, "to modify" means to describe other elements in the sentence:

• A summer day
• The meeting in the downtown Webster Hotel

Writers may inadvertently misplace modifying phrases so that these phrases appear to modify words other than the target words. This may create an odd picture for the reader:

• "Conference call with A. Corrson, M.D., about patients at risk for sudden cardiac death on June 21"

To avoid confusing or unintentionally amusing your reader, place a modifying phrase as close as possible to the word it describes:

• "Conference call on June 21 with A. Corrson, M.D., about patients at risk for sudden cardiac death"

Occasionally, you may decide to rewrite the offending sentence, creating a new sentence or phrase:

• After mating, a clutch of up to 30 eggs is laid in an underground nest.
• Rewrite: After mating, the goose will produce a clutch of up to 30 eggs in an underground nest.

The words "only" and "almost" are often misplaced as modifiers. They should be positioned carefully in your sentence according to meaning and emphasis (all of these examples are correct):

• Only I know the new procedure. [I am the only one who knows the new procedure.]
• I know only the new procedure. [I do not know any  procedure other than the new one.]  
• I almost lost everything. [I didn't lose everything, but I almost did.]
• I lost almost everything. [I lost a lot, but I still had some things left.]

See if you can find more misplaced phrases!

"Too many times I see colons used after phrases and dependent clauses to introduce a list, including in newspapers. Every style guide I have ever read (MLA, APA, AP, Chicago, and others) says to use an independent clause before a colon used to introduce a list. Alas, too often I see a colon used where no punctuation is appropriate, such as in: "I went to: the grocery store and the gas station." Both of these colons are improper here, I think."

Thanks, David; I agree with you that an independent clause is required before the colon that introduces a list. "I went to" isn't an independent clause; although it has a subject and verb, it doesn't express a complete thought.

What gripes you about language? Share your pet peeves with me and other readers; I'll keep your name anonymous. Thank you!