|
Greetings!
I received two "you" messages recently. The
first shows how NOT to use the "you" message:
A client snarled, "What part of "no" don't
you understand?"
The second was an offer from my
favorite airline, apologizing for a recent
flight delay of three hours and offering me
5000 free miles, using the word "you" nine
times in a positive context ("We value your
business"; "You can use these miles toward
your next trip").
"You messages" can persuade your audience and
establish or continue a relationship, but poor
use of "you" can sabotage a relationship, as
did the offensive and demeaning comment from
my (former) client. Compare 1, 2, and 3 with
4, 5, and 6 below.
- We have enclosed an envelope.
- I need your cooperation to make
this work.
- We shipped your new equipment
this morning. It should arrive in 10
days.
- You may use the enclosed envelope
- Your cooperation can make
this work.
- Your new equipment should arrive
in 10 days.
Wouldn't you rather receive messages 4, 5, or
6 than 1, 2, or 3?
Be careful, however, that your "you"
messages don't appear to blame
a customer. Let's say your customer mailed a
payment envelope without a check. Which
message will help you maintain a good working
relationship with them?
1. "You left the check out."
2. "The envelope seems to be missing the check."
The "you" message in #1 is accusatory.
Attacking a customer will not help you
maintain a good relationship.
My HR friends tell me not to use "you"
messages to characterize an employee's
performance issue the first time you discuss
it with them. "Ms. X, you
are always punctual, cheerful, and willing.
However, you are not filing very well." When
you first correct her, don't use a "you"
message. Instead, say, "The filing is not
being done correctly." If she corrects the
problem-Bravo! But if she doesn't, then it is
acceptable to say, "You're not doing the
filing correctly."
Careful use of "you" messages can enhance
your relationship with your readers and
listeners.
Technical tip of the month:
To find out how well you are using
"you" messages, visit the "We We" counter at
Future
Now.
Take their simple test to:
- Discover what your word choices say about
where your focus really is.
- Get a sense of the impression you are
making on your readers.
- See where you can make changes, quickly
and easily, that will increase your
effectiveness.
Or take a class from The Text Doctor and
learn more about YOU messages.
What my grandchildren are teaching me
about communication
My grandson, Axel, (26 months old) has been
teaching me about communicating fears
recently. About once a month, we go to the
Butterfly Pavilion in Westminster, Colorado. This
marvelous place has a tropical room full of
butterflies that fly gently by as you are
just standing there. I bet they have 5000
butterflies in just this one room.
They also have a "Bug" room, with lots of
live spiders, scorpions, and bugs in
cages. And they have one huge, live tarantula
named Rosie,
offered up by a volunteer. Anyone who wants
to can
touch or hold Rosie.
Axel ran screaming from the room when he
first saw Rosie. "Scary!" he pronounced.
Gradually, he's let me get closer and closer
with him, until the last time I was able to
hold him on my left knee while I held Rosie
in my right hand.
Then I found a plastic toy Rosie, bigger than his
hand. When I gave it to him, he said
gleefully, "Gamma! I hold Rosie!" My daughter
said he slept with her for three
nights straight.
On our last visit, he brought his "Rosie" to
show to the real Rosie as I held her.
Axel, thank you for showing me four things
about fear:
- It is good to state our fears: "That's
scary for me."
- It is good to work slowly toward
overcoming our fears.
- It is good to help others with their
fears. Never in my life have I wanted to hold a
tarantula, but I did so to help Axel overcome
his fears. After all, if his Gramma is
afraid, why wouldn't he be afraid?
- We all have our "Rosies," our big or
little fears. Overcoming my fear of
tarantulas was big!
The Text Doctor's new Webinars...and a special discount coupon for you (see below)
- Save time and money by receiving your
training
at your desk or in your work group
- Learn communication skills in short,
manageable
chunks of time
- Interact with me to
make sure
you learn what you need
- Provide cost-effective communication
training to
many employees for less cost than scheduling
in-person training
Learn More at www.textdoctor.com.
Fast, focused training at a fraction of the cost of stand-up instruction!
What's a Webinar?
It's practical, hands-on training you access
on your
computer, either by
yourself at your desk or with others in a
conference
room (viewing with a projected image from a
computer). You receive audio by telephone.
I'll ask
you to interact with me whenever possible,
and you
can always type in questions for me to answer
in the
webinar or after the class is over.
You'll receive copies of the handouts, too.
It's a new medium that is superb for delivering
fast, focused training on specific communication
topics. Yet I'm the only one, to my knowledge,
offering webinars on writing better.
SPECIAL DISCOUNT for you (see coupon
below)
June 14 Improve
your e-mail practices
June 21, 10
things your English never told you
June 25, Bite
the bullet: how not to kill your presentation
with your slides
July 9, 10
things your English teacher never told
you
July 16 Marketing
Bingo: Even introverts can market
better
July 19, Perfect
Proofreading: How to save face by correcting
errors before publication
July 25 Improve your e-mail practices
$79
per hour (including audio and video)
For more information, go to The Text Doctor's Website
Don't see a Webinar listed that you'd like to take?
Send me an e-mail (efrick@textdoctor.com) or
call me at 303-527-2989 to
propose a webinar of your choice! I'd love
to hear what your needs are, and if I can
design and deliver a Webinar for you, I will.
My goal is always to help you and your
employees
Do more
Make more
Save more
Sell more
Thank you!
Elizabeth Frick
The Text DoctorŽ
Creating better writers
Now serving Minnesota AND Colorado businesses like yours!
phone:
303-527-2989
|
|
