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Has it been a week already? It didn't seem like it. I
remember as a kid that time seemed so slow; now it
seems that each day goes by faster than I can keep
up with. Is that because our society moves so fast
and in this information age we get news immediately?
Or is it because I'm getting older? Wait, did I say that!?
You know I love to go to the mountains. The
only place I love more is the ocean and you don't find
any of those in Colorado. Maybe a move is in order.
Anyway, I found the most wonderful bookmarks,
journals and notepads at Rocky Mountain National
Park; the brainchild of Ilan Shamir. Each bookmark,
journal and notepad offers advice from some part of
nature. I think I have them all, unless Ilan decides to
create more. I wish I had come up with this idea, then
I could afford a new kitchen floor! Each week, in the
introduction, I will share some "advice" with you. I
hope these thoughts enrich your
soul.
Advice from a Mountain.
- Reach New Heights
- There is Beauty as far as the eye can see
- Be Uplifting
- Get to the Point
- Enjoy the View
Have a great week.
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Yes, you must.
It's about responsibility
Friday afternoon, I took Malaika, my 11 year old, to the
old
McDonald's parking lot on Table Mesa to meet the rest
of the youth from church going to the Middle School
Retreat for the weekend. Thursday night we worked
hard, I thought, to get things done; practice piano,
study for Friday's biology test, finish math worksheet
and get packed. Malaika was so excited she was up
at 5:30 am, even before I was! She showered, had
breakfast, practiced piano, got her school work
together and said her room was cleaned up (between
my husband and I we had asked her four times
to pick up her room). On the way to school she asked
me to put a sheet and her pillow in her duffel bag for
her. Being a good mom, I would do that for
her.
Well, by 10:00 everything had changed. I
walked into her room to discover she had not even
made her bed, much less picked up her room. So
there have to be consequences, because that is just
the way life is, at least for most of us.
When
we got home from school, it was time for the dreaded
talk. I told her I was very disappointed and that she
had three choices;
- Stay home and clean her room instead of going on
the retreat,
- be grounded for a week; no TV, movies, phone,
computer, DS or MP3,
- or pay Mom and Dad to clean her room.
Yes, I am the meanest mom in the world.
Instead of my choices, Malaika ran upstairs and
picked up her room in ten minutes. It wasn't hard and
it didn't take long, but why wasn't asking enough?
Because we have to learn responsibility and learn to
be accountable for the choices we make.
One
of the choices I have made over the years is to eat too
much, until I started feeling the effects. I didn't want to
be a 70 year old woman who was confined to a
wheelchair because I weighed too much. I certainly
don't want hip replacement or knee replacement or all
the other health problems that come with being 75
pounds overweight. So on June 30, after years of
talking about it, I decided to do something about it. I
have lost 21.4 pounds. (Okay, I'm bragging) Has it
been hard? Amazingly, no; maybe because I was
ready. But it's about being responsible for myself and
most of us won't be responsible until we
must.
Now here is my
question - Why doesn't responsibility include Wall
Street? Have we become a society where only some
are held responsible? If it was you or me in financial
trouble, who would bail us out? Wouldn't it be nice if
the CEOs of these companies were held responsible
for their actions and decisions? I bet if they had to sell
their houses, cars, yachts, planes and give back their
stock options, that would be at least 1 trillion
dollars.
Harry Truman had a plaque on his
presidential desk that said "the buck stops here". I
agree, the buck stops here for me and my daughter.
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It's a 24/7 World.
Make the right choices
Do you ever feel that you are going 24 hours a day 7
days a week? When did it become okay to take your
cell phone into the dressing room at Dillard's and talk
to a friend or
multi-task all day long, talking with several people,
working on the computer and exchanging emails, all
at once. Maybe I'm old fashion, but I like to talk to
people face to face over "big girl coffee" or "kid chai" as
my girlfriends and I say.
Like most people, I
want to get more done, and being a wife, mom,
therapist, coach, domestic goddess, sister and friend
there is a lot to do. But somehow working harder only
seems to give me more work.
Whatever
happened to the vision of "leisure time?" Whatever
happened to the day when "labor saving devices"
really did save us time instead of making us a slave.
Tell the truth, when was the last time you didn't answer
your cell phone for a whole day?
Most of us
are sleep-deprived. Most of us are in debt. Most of us
have high blood pressure, headaches, ulcers or other
stress-related discomfort. How did this happen? But
more importantly, how can we change it?
Maybe the answer is to manage our lives
better. Here are a few suggestions:
- Learn to say no! You don't have to be all and do
all. Say no to things you don't like and even to some
things you do like.
- Spend less than you make. No problem in this
household, we drive cars that are almost 20 years
old. Remember the saying, "time is money"? Well,
money is time too.
- Live your values. Think about what you really
value. When you die, you won't think about the car you
didn't buy, you will think about the people you didn't
spend time with.
- Have a plan for the day. Decide what is important
to get done in a day and don't sweat the rest. For me,
it's my morning quiet time. If the kitchen floor doesn't
get sweep, oh well...
- Have more fun. Laugh more, give lots of hugs and
kisses, and take time just to sit quietly with your
special someone.
- Manage your time. Forget multi-tasking. Focus on
what you want to get done now and put time limits on
phone calls and activities.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. Don't blow
it! Time is the only resource any of us truly has, and
once it's gone, it's gone forever. So work hard and play
hard and make it count.
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It's Chaos Out There!
How to deal
Talk about chaos! What a couple of weeks it has
been! The Cubs were the first team in the National
League to clinch their division (what's up with that
anyway?), Brett Farve plays for the Jets instead of the
Packers and the US economy is really in trouble.
Anybody want to invest in gold?
But the world
really isn't chaotic at all; the laws of physics still apply,
meaning you still get results based on intelligent
action and focused effort. It's just that we have to be
comfortable with
ambiguity. There will never be enough information and
the rules seem to be changing all the time. But
staying calm in the storm is the key. Our lives can get
disrupted easily, just look at Galveston and Houston.
Or the Front Range in the winter of 2006/07. But there
is no need to fall apart when life goes crazy.
Something is always going to happen, so make
lemonade, don't cry because for the moment you only
have lemons.
What do you need to thrive
when chaos is swirling around you? Are you ready for
another bullet list?
- Strong boundaries. Don't get caught up in other
peoples dramas, unless of course it's the Cubs
winning the World Series. Just close your door, so to
speak, and don't get distracted.
- Know your priorities, what is important and work
toward that. Don't just hope or dream. Act.
- Be calm, inwardly and outwardly. Be in charge of
your life and know what is important even if we do get
snowed in for three days this winter.
- Be optimistic. Chaos is really change and change
is opportunity. Remember on a rainy day, there is
always the possibility of a rainbow. Look for it.
- Take care of yourself. Stay strong and healthy so
when the chaos clears you can take advantage of a
new opportunity. Be strong and stable.
- Be response-ible! Are we back to that again? Yes.
Part of being responsible is to respond to the
situation, not react out of anger, fear or anxiety. Just
take a deep breath and look for the rainbow.
I love John Lennon's observation
that "life is what happens while you were making other
plans." Life will not wait until we are ready or until we
catch our breath. Baby, it's chaos out there. Just jump
in.
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Grace and Peace,
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