In This Issue
Learning to Listen
Advance praise for "Loving Somebody with Asperger's"
New book on autism and intimate relationships
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Favorite Sayings:


"The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer." 

-Henry David Thoreau

 


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Fathers Network

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An interview about fathers of children with autism with Robert Naseef
Fathers and Autism
FathersFather and Autism
Autistic Like Me: A Father's Perspective with Director Charles Jones

Autistic Like Me: A Father's Perspective
Autistic Like Me: A
Autism and Emotions: Daniel Gottlieb, Stephen Shore, and Robert Naseef
Living Along the Autism Spectrum (Excerpt on Emotions and Autism)
Living

 Along the Autism Spectrum (Excerpt on Emotions and Autism)
Father's Perspective
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Special Families Guide
March 1, 2012
Learning to listen to "I Don't Need Help!"
by Kelly Peters, MA
 
It can be hard, if not impossible for some people to see something that (they think) needs to be fixed and do nothing. It's maddening.  Twice last week, when working with adolescents I saw the need to help, to fix what I saw to be a problem, and twice last week I was shut down.  
     I've thought about it and realized that as a caregiver it can be difficult to refrain from rushing in to help.  Whether it is a person with an addiction, an aging parent, or a young person dealing with the frustrations of a world that doesn't always understand them, the impulse to fix, to help, is overwhelming.       
     What we miss in our rush to fix, however, is the opportunity to listen. The chance to simply be present and aware for someone.  To allow them to talk, as much or as little as they are ready to about what is going on.  
       To simply BE for someone without extensive probing, without questioning them, without solving things. Sometimes it is the process of the problem; sitting with the issue, allowing it to develop on its own that is the learning, that is, truly, the fixing.  So I will be working on my new mantra this week "shut up and listen". Wish me luck. 
 
Advance Praise for Loving Someone with Asperger's 
 

"Cindy N. Ariel gets it like few people do. With a vision that is steeped in both research and experience, she is able to guide us through the trials, confusion, and treasure of loving someone with Asperger's syndrome. She does this with open eyes and an open, compassionate heart. This is the kind of guide I wish for everyone who loves someone who is different." 

-Daniel Gottlieb, PhD, psychologist, family therapist, and author of Letters to Sam and The Wisdom of Sam

 

"Discovering Asperger's syndrome is a true adventure. But intimate relationships can be complex. Partners most often must learn to reflect, adapt, and compromise for the relationship to succeed. Accepting each partner's differences and reaching mutual understanding can be a long journey. In her book, Ariel truly captures the essence and uniqueness of an Asperger's-neurotypical relationship. With her explanations, examples, and exercises, she guides couples toward better communication, quality time, and intimacy. This book will inspire couples to attain a better relationship." 
-Isabelle H�nault, MA, PhD, sexologist, psychologist, and author of Asperger's Syndrome and Sexuality

 

"Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome is a practical and helpful must-have guide for couples as well as therapists! This easy-to-read book includes lots of AS-friendly exercises based on the learning style of individuals with AS. These tools provide concrete activities that can assist couples in working through issues that commonly occur when one partner has Asperger's." 
-Diane Adreon, EdD, associate director of the University of Miami Center for Autism and coauthor of Asperger Syndrome and Adolescence

 

"An informative and practical book that couples will enjoy reading to achieve greater mutual understanding and acquire strategies to enhance their relationship. This book will encourage realistic hope for the future and help partners rediscover and reinforce the deep love that can be felt for someone with Asperger's syndrome. 
-Tony Attwood, PhD, author of The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome

 

"Kudos to Cindy N. Ariel! While her new book, Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome, will be widely used by partners, its potential for use by professionals who are therapists and counselors is remarkable. The exercises help each of the two parties conceptualize what the other is thinking in a blameless, constructive manner so as to support change and adaptation. I fully plan to use this book in my university teaching programs for upcoming social workers." 
-Dena L. Gassner, LMSW, owner/director of the Center for Understanding in Nashville, TN, and contributing author to Scholars with Autism

 
  

 

New Book: Intimate Relationships and Sexual Health 
 
The horror stories you 
may have heard about adolescence for typical teens as well as those with autism are stereotypical generalizations. That being said, the transition from childhood to adulthood is stormy. Mood swings are normal, and rebellion is a necessary part of growing up.  Furthermore, learning about dating, intimate relationships, and sexual health may be even more complicated for adolescents and adults with autism. Parents and professionals with few resources to guide them have understandable tended to dread the onset of adolescence. 

            With Intimate Relationships and Sexual Health: A Curriculum for Teaching Adolescents/Adults with High-Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders and Other Social Challenges, Catherine Davies and Melissa Dubie have made a landmark contribution.  Combining state of the art sexual education with current information about autism, the authors provide a detailed curriculum with teaching strategies and lesson plans.  The lessons cover a wide gamut of issues including:  descriptions of body parts and their functions, communication issues, reproductive health, dating, relationships, diversity issues, harassment, abuse, etc.

            Drawing upon many years of experience serving children and young people with disabilities, Davies and Dubie have combined information, compassion, and insight into this highly readable and vital resource for professionals and families.



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Best regards,   

Robert Naseef, Ph.D.
ALTERNATIVE CHOICES