Redefining .......Resolutions
Did you know that January 23rd was the "saddest day" of the year? Who comes up with these facts?? It was referred to as "Black Monday ". It is the date when people focused on their failures.... broken new years resolutions, debt from the holidays, weight gain from the holidays, the weather, and the knowledge that the next vacation is still far away. I prefer to think of it as a day on the calendar that is in the past, and we are closer to the "happiest" day of the year; June 23rd.
There is something wonderful about resolutions and the promise of new beginnings each year. The difficulty with resolutions is that they tend to be black and white. Most of us base our successes or failures by what we have completed or failed to complete. Rarely do we say that we are successful if we are closer to meeting a goal.
I have come to measure my accomplishments in incremental steps. There are few times in my life when I have gotten it 100% right. And even fewer times when I have accomplished a goal on a first attempt. Rather, I have gotten closer to meeting my goals with each attempt. I believe that we set ourselves up for long-term failure if we don't acknowledge small steps toward a goal in the absence of 100 % goal attainment.
As a mediator I deal with people who have dfficulty with starting anew due to unresolved issues with others. Many times these issues start small and slowly begin to infect their personal and work relationships as well as their physical well being.
Often conflicts fester and grow until they have a life of their own. Not only do I spend a great deal of time with my clients in helping them to view their problems from a different perspective, but also helping them to form a detailed, measurable and accountable plan for resolution.
Resolve every day to begin anew. If there are issues with others that need to be resolved, take action by gaining another's perspective and guidance on resolving those issues. Search for new perspectives in dealing with those unresolves issues.
Starting each day in the absence of longstanding and unresolved conflict can be very gratifying and develops a healthier lifestyle and a renewed hope for the future.
Chris Turner , MSW
TMCA Credentialed Distinguished Mediator.
