The Sardine Can Bar
Downtown, Green Bay, WI
"Always Packed"
visit our killer website at www.thesardinecan.com
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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010 Update
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Press Release
Chris Hansen to appear on Letterman again!!!
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Sardine Can owner and all around nut-job Chris Hansen will once again appear on the David Letterman show in an upcoming episode. A few years ago, Chris appeared on the "stupid human tricks" segment of the show, where he showcased his ability to drink a beer thru his nose - a truly manly skill.
Sardine Can management now confirms that Chris will appear on the same segment of the show, this time to smoke a cigarette thru his ass.
Chris was concerned about his lungs being abused by many years of heavy cigarette smoking and was looking for a way to still enjoy - not necessarily the taste of a cigarette - but at least the nicotine. Apparently, nicotine is readily absorbed thru the colon and lower intestine walls. When Chris found this out, he immediately went to work perfecting a method to introduce cigarette smoke to this area.
Well, after many months of burnt ass-cheeks, accidental fart combustion, rectal rejection and strange looks at the Farmer's Market, he has perfected this new method of smoking. He affectionately calls the technique "Lightin' up the Back Door".
And when the staff of David Letterman's show found out about it, they requested a repeat visit.
When asked if he was now concerned about colon cancer Chris replied: "Not really. A recent colonoscopy confirmed that my bunghole is in much better shape than my lungs. Being a lifelong heterosexual helps...... that's for sure. I figure I got 5 years left if I smoke the regular way, 20 more by smoking thru my ass. Now when I go to a restaurant and light up and somebody threatens to "shove that cigarette up my ass", I won't care anymore."
More information in a future press release when the show date is announced.
Chris Hansen "Lightin' Up the Back Door"
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