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The Sardine Can Bar
Downtown, Green Bay, WI
"Always Packed"
visit our killer website at www.thesardinecan.com
| Thursday, August 12th, 2010 Update
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Vanessa Turns 21!
by: Can Reporter Johnny Fish
For those of you who think Sardine Can bartender Vanessa is super hot, you are absolutely correct. For those of you who think Vanessa can't possibly get any hotter, you are wrong. You see, Vanessa just turned 21. And if you think the sober version of Vanessa was outstanding, wait until you see the new Vanessa on booze.
Newly 21 and freshly liquored up, Vanessa charged into the Sardine Can on Saturday nite and TOOK THE PLACE OVER. Fueled by margaritas and cherry bombs, and armed with a hot little red dress, she climbed onto the bar and poured shots into the dropped jaws of of all the degenerates trying to catch a glimpse of her birthday thong. Not even the 5 bachelorette parties in the place could match the raw firepower of Vanessa and her big guns. She left them all in her rear view.
Girls throughout the bar dumped their boyfriends who waited in line to give Vanessa a birthday hug. And as word of the scene was spread around town at the speed of 100 drunken text messages, dudes from as far away as Lenny's tap arrived to catch a glimpse of the action.
And then in an instant, it was all over. Vanessa's friends rushed her out of the bar, like Elvis or Brett Favre.
So, here's to the new Vanessa on booze! Your days of turning down shots and going home sober after work are over! Happy 21st!
Photos from Vanessa's big nite can be seen here:
Vanessa's 21st
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This week's best:
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Q: How do you know when a mechanic has just been laid?
A: One of his fingers is clean.
Book report excerpts from little kids written about the Bible:
1) Christians stay married to the same person for their whole life. This is called monotony.
2) The Virgin Mary gave birth with her
immaculate contraption.
3) Jesus had twelve opossums.
4) Jesus was born in a barn. I wish I was born in a barn. Every time I leave the door open, my mom yells "Close the door, were you born in a barn?!!" Then I could say yes.
5) God split the Adam and made Eve. They were both naked, but they weren't embarassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
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| Upcoming Events | Tall Ships Weekend this Weekend!!!
This weekend is Tall Ships weekend and if you caught some of these sailors at the Sardine Can last year you know they can booze....... well, like sailors. Last year they put on an exhibition of rum guzzling that would make Charlie Sheen proud. This year, there's twice as many ships so that means twice as many sailors from all over the country and frankly, the world hanging out at the Sardine Can. Show your admission ticket to the Tall Ships Festival this weekend and
get $1 off your drinks all weekend long! Check out the ladies
bartending in their sexier than sexy pirate gear.
Also, we have a new event in honor of the sailors called "Walk the Skank". It's a narrow plank that couples can attempt to walk down hand-in-hand and if they can do it without falling off (we had trouble sober so good luck) they get a free shot of grog.
Note: Grog is essentially a mixture of really cheap rum, Capt. Jack Sparrows jizz and crystal pure water from the Gulf of Mexico just off the Louisiana coast.
Good luck maties.
August Band Lineup:
Every Wednesday and Sunday in August will feature Shaker and the Egg outdoors in our Tiki Bar. No cover.
Good photos from this past week
To see all photos from this past week go here:
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| Latest Press | Sardine Can fans in Boston!!!
Just to show that poor taste is present all over this country, we got an email from some boys in Boston who have visited our dump and claim they actually like the place. This photo is from a sailboat in Boston Harbor.
Greetings to Eric, John and Keith in Beantown.
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Lazy worthless chain-smoking tip-whores working this weekend are:
Friday nite:
Happy Hour: Jen W, Boobzilla
Late nite: Angie, Leslie, Rubi, Tittzler
Saturday nite:
Day shift: Fran
Late nite: Angie, Boobzilla, Amanda, Rubi
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