Sardine Can
Golf Outing 2010
Monday, July 12th
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Our annual golf outing/boozefest/Hometown Vets benefit bash will be Monday, July 12th. As always, we'll have the pre-party the day prior on Sunday, July 11th. Put it on your calendar and get your team entry in early so you aren't left out like some douches were last year when all the spots filled up. In case you are on the fence about entering, here's a couple photos from last year's event to help you make up your mind:
The girls show how to properly grip a club
 Watering of the greens is key
For a sign up sheet, just email Tara at: Tara Hansen
To see all the photos from last year's event, click on this link:
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| Great story told by bar patron.
"I was going to bed one nite and my wife asked me if I had any fantasies. I said sure, but just the usual stuff - nothing earth shattering. But she insisted that I tell her.
So I fessed up that my biggest fantasy was to have sex with two women at the same time. She sighed and didn't say anything for a long time....
Then, she said: "I don't think I could do that".
Before I could stop myself I blurted out: "What makes you think you're one of them?"
Now, I'm not even having sex with ONE woman."
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Charlie strikes out again
The story above ties directly with this story about a good buddy of ours (who shall remain nameless - but he goes by the name of Charlie). Boyd, Zim and Charlie are out drinking at Shoots this weekend after dinner at a barbeque joint nearby.
Right away, Charlie gets hit up by this unattractive woman. She's not horribly unattractive, just well........unattractive.
And talking like she may have boiled some rabbits in her past.
Now Charlie hasn't been laid since the Beatles broke up, so he's into it. We goad him on cuz we want him to
toss to it to ANYONE just so he'll stop bitching about it. It's about 9:30 and Boyd & Zim head to the Can to check out the band. Charlie says he'll meet us there. He shows up 3 HOURS LATER.
..........so, you're thinking what we were thinking - Charlie finally got some.
You'd be wrong.
And it's worse. This chick has a girlfriend and apparently, they are making out at the bar, right in front of Charlie, asking him HOW MUCH PUSSY HE WANTS TONIGHT. And adding that this will be the BEST NITE OF HIS LIFE, BOTH OF THEM ARE GOING TO BANG HIM, blah, blah, blah.
So, they close their tab and tell Charlie to meet them at another bar they know and everybody takes off.
And Charlie gets lost. Can't find the place. Drives around for an hour before he gives up and heads to the Sardine Can.
So somewhere that nite, there was a fairly un-attractive, rabbit boiling woman making out with her friend at a bar in Suamico waiting for Charlie to
show up.
Too good to make up.
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| Upcoming Events |
The Tiki Bar Opens for the summer today!!!!
The weather has been great and we're opening almost a month earlier this year. We'll be serving the usual...... cold beer, hot chicks and a cool breeze up your shorts.
Saturday, April 10th, 2010
Master's Bar Tour
Now, in our 11th year of enlarging our livers!! Basically a drinking contest that really only has two potential winners: Brett or Zim. The rest of us are still on the Ladies Tour (aka Dikes in Spikes) . We start at the Sardine Can at 3 pm and try to hit 18 bars every Master's Saturday. We've never made it past 13. Two tap beers is a par. Add a shot, it's a birdie. Add two shots and it's an eagle. Last year Brett was 18 under. AT THE TURN.
He took home the green jacket AND the Hootie award, (which goes to the guy who offends the most women that day - which he had wrapped up by the third bar). So, if you see a bunch of tackily dressed golfers and their caddies on that Saturday, we're not rude, we're in competition for the Hootie!!!
The Esteemed Chairman of Augusta North, Dave Brooks
(aka "Duke of Douche")
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This week's best:
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T-shirt of the week: Fight organized crime. Re-elect NOBODY!!!
Quote of the week: "Used to be the hangovers lasted two days. Now I can't even stay up long enough to get drunk"
- Guzzy
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