Cycling Santa 2009!!!
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Our annual Cycling Santa Pub Crawl (aka Santarchy) will take place on Saturday, Dec. 26th. Meet at the Can in your Santa/elf/slutty Santa helper costume at 6. Bring a crappy bike. We start the pub crawl at 7. Above is a photo from the start
of last year's crawl. You can see all the photos at: CyclingSantaPhotos
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Fill out a Vibrator Race Bracket and win $200!!
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Our 1st Annual Vibrator Race Tournament starts this Friday!! There will be 32 entries. You can fill out a bracket (no charge) just like the NCAA basketball tournament and test your handicapping skills against all the other sex-toy experts.
1st place is $200 cash
2nd place is $100 cash
3rd place is a 12-pack of Hamm's
The bracket can be downloaded from the link at the top of our home page or just stop in the Can and fill one out. Must be in before the 1st race on the Friday. What have you got to lose??
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Join the Alumni Club!!
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Starting December 1st, you can join our Alumni Club. $25 gets you a membership for a year, Alumni Club sweatshirt, special Club parties and most importantly, happy hour prices all the time on weekdays. We sold out last year, so get in to the Can and get your membership ASAP.
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Packers crush 49er's - wife beatings decline!!!
The Packers won again in convincing fashion and Green Bay Police reported that wife beatings were down significantly this past weekend. But police also admit that may be due to that fact that every gun-toting, tobacco-chewing, red-neck douchebag in the area was gone to the northwoods deerhunting while their women were all in the Sardine Can trying to get Victor to take off his Chippendales outfit behind the bar. We doubt any of you hunters shot a buck this weekend because all the big racks were at the Sardine Can!!!
Houston Trip is Epic (Again)
Boyd, Chris and Zim spent the weekend in Houston to attend the annual John Granato charity golf outing to benefit Cerebal Palsy. This usually includes an obligatory round of golf sandwiched between enough heavy boozing to make Dean Martin go to rehab. Special thanks to Mr. Granato, Chad Clay, Nick's Place and "all the boys" for showing us another great time. Even though our "Check Liver" light came on in day two, we drove right thru to the finish on Day 4 where Chris had a tough time getting out of bed so he could puke......
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| Upcoming Events |
Wednesday, Nov. 25th.......Festivus!!!!
Our annual Festivus celebration complete with aluminum pole, the airing of the grievances and feats of strength!!! And we're taking donations for the Human Fund.
Festivus YES!!! Bagels No!!!!
Fri & Sat Nov. 27th & 28th... 1st Round of our "Push to the Pink" Vibrator Tournament!!!
Our month long Push to the Pink Vibrator Tournament starts this weekend!! We'll have races Friday AND Saturday nite. Don't forget to fill out a free bracket for a chance at the $200 first prize. The lineup this weekend:
Friday Nite:
Back Door Booze Whore vs Bunker Buster
Pink Torpedo vs Beaver Reliever
Pump Friction vs Risky Jizzness
Pogo Stick vs B.O.B.
Twat Tingler vs Muff Mangler
Schindler's Fist vs Throbbin' Hood
Humbelievable!!!! vs Lickity Stiff
White Xmas Black Schlong vs That Ain't Eggnog!!!
Saturday Nite:
Big n Black Lookin for Crack vs Better N Chocolate
Moulin Splooge vs Lawrence of a Labia
Cameron D'Ass vs Sandra Buttock
Mr. Cream Jeans vs Lindsey's Low Hand
Stimulus Package vs Creamsicle
My Big Fat Greek Cock vs Shaving Private Ryan
Twat Did You Say? vs Cunt Foo Fighting
Full Metal Jackoff vs Clitty Clitty Bang Bang
Further Vibrator Race Tournament dates are:
Fri & Sat Dec 4th & 5th........."Sweet Sixteen"
Saturday, Dec. 12th.............. "Great Eight"
Saturday, Dec. 19th.............. "Final Foursome"
Saturday, Dec. 26th... "CHAMPIONSHIP!!!"
Saturday, Dec. 26th........ "Cycling Santa" Pub Crawl (See sidebar for details - always epic)
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This week's best:
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T-shirt of the week: OBAMAO
(photo of Obama in a Mao Tse Tung uniform)
Quote of the week #1: "If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon" - W.C. Fields
Quote of the week #2: "I've never been into wine. I'm a beer guy. What I like about beer is you just order it and drink more. You don't sniff it, slosh it around or drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine. Beer drinkers tend to be straightforward, decent, friendly people, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot" - Dave Barry
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Sardine Can Alumni Club Specials this Month
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Monday - $4 Domestic Pitchers
Tuesday - $1 tappers
Wednesday - $3 Captain & Cokes
Thursday - Buy One, Get One
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Lazy, worthless, chain-smoking tipwhores
slinging drinks this weekend are:
Wed. Nite: Erica, Annie, Boyd, Chris
Friday Nite: Chris, Charlie, Leslie, Leah
Saturday Nite: Briana, Boyd, Angie, Hayley
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