‘Mannix, would you be able to do another tv spot for us?’

'Sure!'

‘Can you cook Fall food?’

'Of course'

‘Can you cook Fall food with apples?’

'Sure'

‘Um, and no apple pies, please!’

And that’s how I found myself trying to find a particular park bench in the wilds of Griffith Park on the hottest day of the year

Three dishes riddled with apples, one involving a rapidly disintegrating mountain of whipped cream, a bag of ‘prop’ apples and a map with the red ‘x’ in the wrong spot

A few phone calls later, I am at a bench somewhere behind the Greek Theatre The TV crew, however, are not

’20 minutes. We’ll be there in 20 minutes’

(trying not to sound desperate) ‘Um, okay, I don’t suppose you have any ice?’

In that moment I understood Adam’s plight…how an apple could bring about a man’s undoing

Only my undoing involved whipped cream, not a fig leaf

A sexy, sugary, smear & lick confection. Crispy cinnamon meringue, spiced apple sauce, caramel and cream Sharp, spicy, sweet sensations all dissolving upon the tip of your tongue

The perfect non-apple pie

The perfect almost-Fall apple dessert. There’s still some warmth in the days, but you are craving the flavours and spices of chilly autumn evenings

Not, however, the perfect dessert to assemble in the afternoon heat of a 100 degree day The sound guy is going through an exercise in professional disillusionment as his entire arm disappears down my sodden shirt. He tapes the wires to the hairs on my chest and any time that I move, several are yanked out of place

The make-up girl is trying to take the flush from my cheeks as the sun beats down and turns me bright pink again

And then there are the bees, whipped into a sugar- gasm by the caramel and toffee. So much for take#1

Take #2 a passing airplane has drowned out the audio

Take#3 the kids on the roundabout in the back have screwed up the continuity

Take#3 a bee lands on my cheek, with six sticky feet, fresh from the caramel below

Take#4 perfect. A perfect take from me and the hosts, until the camera pans down to the rapidly liquefying remains of my once glorious dessert, both hosts begin to hurl fabulous adjectives at the flailing pavlova. Trying to wish it back to its former opulence. No deal. It collapses into a sticky swampy bee graveyard

Have I whet your appetite? Click on the pic for the recipe

My dislike of making pastry is legendary

The only reason that I made this apple pie is probably because the TV producer asked me not to

I made it, I packed it, I brought it along to the shoot. It held up beautifully, from every angle, it was blowing kisses to the camera

But it was an apple pie

So, back in the car it went

Perfect really. It was Seamus’ birthday and I was heading straight from the shoot to El Conquistador to meet the gang. Took the pie along. We split it with Elton Juan, the host, and all the waiters. They all gave me their birthdates so that I could honour their birthdays with one of these little rippers

It really was the easiest pastry that I’ve ever made, and it stayed crisp for days The calvados went a long way to making this humble dessert smarter than the average pie And the rough and tumble, free-form shape makes it a guy’s pie. No fussy crimping, just some drunk apples and some spicy shenanigans

Hip-hip-hooray!

Spicy, dark and fragrant

I make pastry so rarely that my curiosity got the better of me

I had everything out, I had already made one batch of pastry for the apple pie

What if I used semolina instead of flour?

What if I added some almond meal?

I’ll tell you what if; you get a supple little crust with a nutty little texture. Turned out to be the perfect foil for the smooth pumpkiny filling

This is not your average pumpkin pie; no mushy custard. This is more like a spiced up, soft hearted pecan pie

It didn’t make it onto TV, I was just playing around when I made the apple pie and I figured that if I was going to light the oven, I may as well double its output. But it sure put a smile on any set of lips it passed

This saucy wench can be found on my website by clicking on the pic to the right

I dream about food

It’s sad, but it’s true

If I sleep late, my mind, tugged along by my empty tummy, starts filling up with flavours and dishes and culinary possibilities

Sundays, for this reason, are my most productive cooking days. I will sleep late and wake with my head filled with a day’s worth of kitchen misadventures

After some coffee, I will head down to the market, pick up any missing ingredients and start thinking over quantities and processes on the way home

Queue up some music, maybe pop a cork and start chopping

And that is how I decided, one Sunday, that the best thing to do with a slab of good stilton would be to fry it

Personally, I am undecided on whether or not I did a good thing. But the thought of sitting down to a plate of these fritters on a rainy Sunday – with a special someone, both wearing favourite sweaters- well, it just seemed so darn cuddly that I couldn’t resist it!

Cider and mustard batter: mix 1 cup of plain flour, a pinch of salt and a teaspoon of mustard powder. Add 1 ¼ cups of hard apple cider (hard= boozy) and 2 tblspns of olive oil. Mix the batter and let it sit, covered, for 30 minutes

Slice 4 oz / 125g of stilton (or a hardy blue cheese) into ¼ inch slices, place the slices into the freezer

Heat about 3 cups of oil in a deep fryer or tall saucepan

Beat 1 egg white till stiff and foamy and fold into the cider batter. Toss the frozen stilton slices into the batter and then toss them into the hot oil, about 4-5 at a time. Fry until golden brown. The stilton will melt and some of it will seep out of the batter

You will be left with puffy fritters with a little cheese all throughout

Serve with lashings of Branston Pickle and slices of apple (and some good Cider as well!)

For those of you who are new recruits, or for anyone who may have missed an issue or two, you can download all of the back-issues of Bit in PDF form. I know that some of you have been dutifully printing them off and compiling them, but the rest of you can click on the pic to the right and then click in the 'back issue' link. You will find each back-issue listed by title

There are loads of recipe and tall tales which cannot be found on the website, so please feel free to browse around

To catch my latest TV spot, tune into USA network’s Movie of the Week on October 6th. Somewhere in the middle of ‘Liar Liar’ you will see me swap apple anecdotes with Christine and Dan. The recipes include the cinnamon pav, an apple and rhubarb salad and a spiced pork loin with apple and chestnut stuffing. All hearty, Fall fare. Trouble is that this segment was shot weeks ago in the full flight of a summer heat wave

The producer had e-mailed me a map of Griffith Park with the wrong venue highlighted, so I lugged everything all the way over to the Zoo

Turned out that the correct location was way over the other side; virtually walking distance from my home

The food was all cooked in advance and thrice transported. You’ll notice that the only food I let the hosts taste is some of the pavlova crust; it was the only thing that I could guarantee wasn’t teeming with salmonella by the time that the segment got taped! As for the rest, let’s just say that there were some well fed coyotes in the park that evening

As soon as I get some time, you'll be seeing a few newsletters full of Fall recipes. In the meantime, take a look at the new home page on the website. An, as always, feel free to share the love with your friends!

Cheers

Mannix

let the love flow!

mannix@thelovebite.com