New York Center for Interpersonal Development
In This Issue
On My Mind...Dom's Wanderings
Donna's Story
Mediation Feedback
About Mediation
3rd Annual CR Day Poetry Contest
NYCID News

Last year, your support helped 5,473 people resolve disputes disrupting their lives.  Thank you.  

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On My Mind

Dom's Wanderings

When I heard Donna Cornicelli's story, it made me feel like I'd won the lottery. Mediation training was about the last thing on her list, but her principal sent her to the DOE District 75 workshop NYCID provided for parent coordinators last summer.  

 

Now, she uses those mediation tools every day with great results, not just in formal mediation sessions, but in her professional and personal relationships, too.  

 

Her story tells me we are accomplishing our mission - Strengthening Relationships, Building Community - not just providing youth development or dispute resolution services.

 

I thought about her comments on the importance of listening and conveying understanding as I watched the growth of the Occupy Wall Street movement. It stems from the unrest, fear and frustration that so many people feel today.  

 

When someone feels unsure about their future -- whether they can get or keep a job, retire with ample income, or even whether those with power understand their fears, anxiety can spill over, polarizing communities and inhibiting healthy relationships.

 

The skills we teach in the Training Institute are fundamental to effective communication. Like golf, the skills seem deceptively simple. In golf, you swing the club and hit the ball into the hole. Simple. To communicate effectively, you withhold judgment, listen carefully, ensure that the other feels understood and always behave respectfully. Simple. HOW WELL one swings the club or communicates takes understanding the principles, practice and coaching.

 

Even golf pros take lessons. So, if you're not sure you're using the most effective communication tools, get the teaching, practice and coaching you need to become expert. There's always something more to learn. Imagine how your organization's (or your own) communications skills could improve or change with training. We'd love to talk with you about it.

 

Who can benefit from this training?  

 

We don't all aspire to be golf pros (or mediators), do we? In our workshops you'll find attorneys; teachers; mental health and human service professionals, community volunteers; management and project teams; students; co-op and condo board members... people from different backgrounds who need to be expert communicators.

 

Our next mediation training is scheduled for Jan. 23-26, 2012, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.  Or, staff can customize a workshop to meet the needs of your organization.  

 

Give Sequoia Stalder, the director of NYCID's Training Institute, a call to explore how we can work with you.

 

All the best,

Dom Brancato signature

Dominick J. Brancato

Executive Director

 

 

P.S. I read all of the workshop evaluations. Our trainers, Sequoia Stalder and Adam Berner get consistently great rave reviews. To read more about the Training Institute, click here

 

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Exchange Online - October 2011

Greetings! 

 

We may not be old dogs, but it's sure easy to continue doing the same old tricks.  Even when the results could be better.

And, despite thinking that we've seen and heard it all before, learning new skills that get better results can re-energize us.  That's what happened to Donna Cornicelli.  Read her story below.

And, do share this issue with friends and colleagues who might be interested.


Learning New Tricks: Donna Cornicelli

 

Not sure you're using the most effective communication tools? Try mediation training to improve your skills.

 

Donna Cornicelli,
Parent Coordinator

"I'm a 58 year old Brooklynite and I've always seen everything in black and white. I've been handling angry parents and their concerns my way for years," Donna Cornicelli told us. She's the parent coordinator at P.S. 37 on Staten Island.

 

"Last summer my principal sent me to the NYCID mediation training. It's quiet in the summer so I didn't mind being out of the building or even traveling to Manhattan for the four days. But, I'm thinking--don't give me a lot of hogwash. I've been to many seminars over the years. Usually you want to blow your brains out or go to sleep."

 

Liz Bonici, the assistant director of the CDRC at NYCID told us, "Donna introduced herself to the group the first morning as knowing a little about mediation and she was sure her own methods were better. But she'd listen. The change from sitting back that first day and nursing a headache the second, to a fully engaged participant by the end was gratifying to watch."  

   

What brought about the change?

 

Okay, let's give it a try.

 

"The staff was good and, at some point I thought, okay, maybe I should give this stuff a try. The role plays really made me see how the tools diffuse anger."

 

"In the past, I took action right away. If a parent had an issue, quick, make an appointment with the principal. Now I realize that I can help parents resolve a lot of issues myself. I'm a better listener. I can give parents feedback that assures them they have been heard."

 

Does it work? 

 

"For example," Donna continued, "busing is always a major concern at the beginning of the school year. Through a computer error a little girl was left off the schedule. Her mother was irate. She needed to get to her job and instead she was driving her child to school. Now, I listen. She knew I heard her. It took five days to get the computer error fixed, and every morning she drove her daughter, I talked with her. She stayed calm and patient."  

 

"Everything these days is computers. But I'm not computer savvy or mechanical. Mediation training teaches you how to use your people skills. You pay attention to feelings, body language. You're reassuring and providing the human touch that helps people find solutions."

 

The bottom line

 

"I came away from this training with skills I now use in all aspects of my life, not just on the job. I want to thank District 75 and my principal for making that possible."

Thank you, Donna, for sharing your story. And, we thank District 75, too, for making this workshop available to the parent coordinators.

Here's what I think: Feedback from mediation training participants

 

Each workshop ends with anonymous evaluations. Here are two more recent comments to add to Donna's:

"I consider myself "good with people," but I have a lot to learn about mediation. Adam and Sequoia are fantastic, dedicated teachers and kind people. Great training!"
--a human services professional


*****

 

"I would highly recommend this training for any attorney whether you're interested in mediation or not. The communication skills will make [me] a more effective fact gatherer from my clients, a more effective negotiator with my adversaries, and a more effective advocate before tribunals of every kind. For the practitioner -- either as mediator or advocate -- this training is indispensable." --an attorney in private practice


Want to know more about mediation?

Albert Einstein 

What does respect feel like, look like, or taste like?

Invite your students to participate in the third annual Conflict Resolution Day Peace Poetry Contest
Conflict Resolution Day
One of your students could win $100! This year's theme: "Demonstrating Respect - at home, in school or in the community."

Poetry and conflict resolution may seem like strange bedfellows, but by constructing a poem about respect, students can reflect on how respect or its lack has contributed to the conflicts in their lives. 

The Conflict Resolution Day Poetry Contest will accept entries until November 1, 2011.
More information (including rules) here.

News in Brief
We're recruiting!  Help us reach young people looking for new opportunities.
  • Know a young person who needs a job and likes caring for people who need help? Our ACE Program is currently offering a free, 12-week Certified Nursing Assistant training for eligible students. Read more here.
     
  • Know a student in danger of dropping out that is 17 � - 21 years of age and has at least 17 credits? The Staten Island Young Adult Borough Center can help them make up their credits and earn a traditional high school diploma. For more information, contact Program Director Michael DeVito at (718) 947-4065.
     
  • Olympus Academy currently has spaces available for Brooklyn students that are 16 - 21 years old and have fallen behind in credits. If you know someone that's interested, please tell them to call (718) 272-1926, ext. 1153 or 1158.

 

Your contributions make it possible for students
to learn conflict resolution skills.
 

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