Greetings!
The Mosaic Coalition,
which the NY Center co-sponsors with Wagner
College, has been engaged in strategic planning, so diversity is much on our minds this month. In
addition, our leadership group has been looking at ways to improve programming
for parents. Put them together and you get this month's issue - teaching your child tolerance.
We hope you'll find these
ideas and resources useful.
All the best,
The editor
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April Headlines |
Expanding Horizons: Last week 28 students from our high school
after-school programs hopped on a bus for a trip to Delaware State
University to get a taste of college life. They leave Staten
Island questioning whether college makes sense. They return charged
up. Ready to make it happen.
*****
We've
lost a mediator. Our sympathy goes out to the family of Jacqueline Dobson who
volunteered for many years in our community dispute resolution center. She took
pride in serving her church and her community. We will miss her.
*****
Save the date and clean the
closets: We're having a fundraising Auction on June 5th, (See the calendar for details.)
This event, co-chaired by Maryann Lauria & Lindy Marrazzo, will include both a silent and live auction.
You'll eat well and have a good time bidding on items that range from Yankees
tickets to a vacation in the Caribbean.
You can help us make the event a HUGE financial
success by donating that time-share vacation week you never use. Or, that
painting that doesn't work now that you've redecorated. Or a sample of your
woodworking craftsmanship, a handknit sweater, or opera tickets. Call or email
Mike Baver with your items, or to purchase tickets.*****
An
invitation from the Mosaic Coalition: If you care about building a community where people bridge the racial, ethnic,
and other barriers that keep us isolated and mistrusting of one another, you
can help us shape our next few years. Visit our website; join the listserv.
Share your ideas.
*****
Yes, We're Still Recruiting The best employees come to us through people we know. Do you know someone who'd like to work for the NY Center?
- Personal Advocates - Full-time only. BA in social work or other human service field and youth development experience preferred. SI & Brooklyn locations.
- Career and Education Counselor, full-time, masters-level and related experience preferred. Brooklyn.
- Internship and Job Developer, full-time, masters-level and related experience preferred. Brooklyn.
- Tutors, part-time. Bachelor degree required; certified teacher preferred. Staten Island.
If you know someone interested in one of these positions, have them email their resume to Candace Gonzalez.
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MOM, why is his skin so dark?
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"MOM, why is his skin so dark?"
The question was about my
2-year-old son but directed at a woman standing behind me. I glanced over my
shoulder and saw the deep red creeping from the woman's collar into her cheeks
as her young son continued to tug at her pant leg.
"Jimmy, it doesn't matter what
color he is," she said over a nervous giggle. "He's a little boy like you."
I took my son by the hand and
turned him around to face Jimmy.
"His skin is dark because my skin
is dark. We're black," I told Jimmy and his mother. "He's black because his
parents are black, just like you're white because your parents are white. And, his
skin is beautiful just like yours."
Jimmy's mom was speechless and a
lovely crimson by now, but according to the experts, I did the right thing.
Living in America means
being in a society where many of the folks don't look like you, talk like you
or walk like you. Being parents in America means being able to explain
these differences to our children.
Except from a column by Denise Watson in The Virginian-Pilot
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FIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR TEACHING YOUR CHILD TOLERANCE
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Illustration from Tolerance.org We've
reviewed a number of resources and selected a few tips to pass on to you.
Follow the links in the right side-bar for more information.
Acknowledge
differences: Children notice differences and ask questions quite naturally.
Point out the many differences among people, even in the same family. Not just
skin color, hair, eyes, body size and shape, disabilities, age. Note, however, none
of those differences makes people scary, dirty, or unworthy.
Use the
intolerance you see as a teaching moment: whether it's in person at the
supermarket, on television, or around the neighborhood, talk about why it's
wrong and the attitudes and values you have in your family.
Walk the
Talk: The burden is on every parent to build social interactions that include
people of all different types. Honor
multi-culturalism when you're choosing a neighborhood, a school or after school
program. Provide opportunities for your kids to work and play with those
different from them. Teach your family traditions to your children and to
others interested in the diversity you have to offer.
If your
child is a victim of prejudice: First, ensure their physical safety. Bring the
incident to the attention of those in charge where it happened. Reinforce
your child's sense that this was wrong. Help them prepare for how to handle
future incidents.
If your
child is the one making bias remarks: stop the behavior immediately. Explain
the error behind their comments, and how hurtful unfair comments are. You might
try a reverse role-play to give your child a sense of what it's like to be
picked on because of a difference. If they are copying bad behavior they
witness in a close adult, explain that you love that person, but that
particular behavior is wrong, and not to be emulated.
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PERSONAL
BIAS - A REFLECTION EXERCISE
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Explore
your experiences with and attitudes about difference by asking yourself these
questions from Tolerance.org.
- The first time I became
aware of differences was when ...
- As I was growing up, my
parent(s) taught me that people who were different from us were... [that
people who were like us were ...]
- A time I was mistreated [A
time I mistreated someone] because of my own difference was when ...
- I feel most [least]
comfortable when I am around people who ...
- The memories I have of
differences affect my parenting by ...
- How wide is my circle of
friends? How diverse is my holiday card list?
- How integrated is my
neighborhood? My child's school? My workplace? Why is that?
- Do I take economic
segregation and environmental racism for granted?
- Do I receive information
about other cultures from members of those cultures, or from potentially
biased, third-party sources?
- How often am I in the
minority?
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Please help us expand our circle of friends. Use the "Forward email" link below to send this newsletter to someone you think would be interested. Your friend's address is protected. We don't keep it and won't use or sell it. |
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ON MY MIND
Dom's Wanderings |
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In 1985,
Mary Ann and I began our search for a house on Staten
Island.
I had a new job with the YMCA and we wanted to live in the
community where I worked. Each weekend we'd take the trek to Staten Island and
a carefully prepared realtor would show us yet another selection of south shore
houses.
And, each weekend we'd end the afternoon by suggesting we look on the north shore,
closer to where I'd be working.
The
realtor just couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to show us anything on
the north shore. We pressed - and were considering
finding another realtor. He finally explained, although not in these words,
people move to Staten Island for the white neighborhoods and schools. That means a house on the south shore.
My reply,
in exactly these words, "Do you think I want to raise my kids in a neighborhood
of bigots?"
Yes, I
know everyone on the south shore is not a bigot. I
was making a point to the realtor.
Mary Ann
and I were choosing to Walk the Talk. It was important to us to send our kids
to a school with children of many backgrounds.
We found a great house on the north shore.
The school was like a meeting of the United Nations.
My children are adults now, but
still close with their Staten Island school
friends - a diverse lot, to be sure.
Was it
worth it? I think our whole family would offer a resounding yes! We have felt
truly blessed as we have shared holidays and traditions.
Our children see the
world as a friendly place - one offering opportunities, not danger. I hope they'll
do the same for their children.
Let me hear from you. All the
best,
Dom
p.s. If you're interested in SI's current demographics, the Mosaic Coalition has them on their planning website. You can see them here.
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FIVE TEACHING TOLERANCE RESOURCES
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Our Calendar |
ACT Classes Helping separating or divorcing parents understand how to help their children cope with the changes. Visit our calendar for this month's dates.
June 5thNY Center Fundraiser Auction 6 - 9:00 pm at Temple Israel, tickets $25. Contact Mike Baver at 718-947-4121 |
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