
Dear Georgia: My dog and I visit a facility every week. As we were leaving our facility after one of our visits, one of the residents began crying to me, "Please don't leave me!" What was I to do?
- Broken HeartedDear Broken Heart: I wanted to ask an expert how to handle this situtuation so I have consulted our Continuing Education Facilitator and Licensed Mental Health Consultant, Laura A. Weber. This is her response:
"I am glad you asked this question because it is a situation that most volunteers will encounter - some on a regular basis. Sometimes volunteering of ourselves does hurt - and it is important to reach out for support. The woman at your site was reaching out as well, and you will see more and more folks try to "connect" with you, the more available you are.
In general, I recommend a two-step process whenever we are in a situation where one of the residents seems sad, in need, in pain, in danger, etc. First, we want to "check it out" with the support staff at the site - to be sure immediate professional attention is not warranted, and second, we want to provide consistent feedback that is honest and positive.
Remember, you must always know "who to go to", a contact person, at each site. Once we have made that contact and are sure that this individual is not in need of professional attention - medical, social, emotional, etc., we can respond in a caring way. If you are leaving, but have plans to be back, let the person know. If you are pretty sure you will not be back yourself, but are aware of others who volunteer, make that clear. "I am so glad you enjoy our visits! Blue and I do too - I will see you next week (or next month, etc.)". "Isn't it wonderful when the dogs visit? I am not sure when I will be back but I know another dog, like Blue, is coming next week (next month, soon, etc.)". Get close enough to be heard, give the person your complete attention (make eye contact, get down on her level if she is in a chair, etc.) and smile warmly. Repeat yourself if needed, but it will be your job to gently, firmly, end the conversation in an upbeat manner.
My recommendations for any conversations with facility residents are generally along these lines: supportive, positive and honest. Don't make promises. Don't assume you (your dog) to be the only one who can be of support. Do be consistent in your feedback. Do approach the situation with a positive outlook and tone.
As you become more familiar with the needs, strengths, concerns of the groups of folks where you volunteer, you will become more confident in your communication. This month (February) our Continuing Education at C.A.T. Dogs will be on special populations - specifically, those with Mental Health issues. Communicating with individuals who are psychotic, depressed, anxious, etc. will be discussed at length.
Future topics include areas relevant to your question as well - specifically, concerns regarding Ethics & Boundaries, Abuse & Neglect (Awareness and Reporting of), and Communication & Relationship Building. In addition to general information, these seminars are also a good opportunity to discuss particular situations which may arise for a C.A.T. Dog volunteer."
Thank you for volunteering!
Laurie Weber
Laura A. Weber, M.S., LMHC
Mental Health Consultant. Counselor & Educator
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