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Why it is Critical to Support the Engagement of Fathers with their Children
Dear Family and Friend,
Engaging the Absent Parent is a focus for DSS across all programs, particularly in child welfare and also in our Work First program. We want to begin to actively look at how we can engage fathers in the family and help them be more engaged in the lives of their children. Gone are the days when we penalize families for having a male in the home and send a mixed message that works against keeping families together. We want families to thrive with our assistance and be self sufficient through our temporary help or intervention.
Following are some of the impacts of not having a father in a child's life: Click HERE
We must look at our systemic and societal biases to make sure that we are not creating barriers for fathers. What do we see when we engage a family? Do we see brokenness or do we see an opportunity to engage? Are we aware when a mother is acting as a gatekeeper to keep the father away? Do we know how to help her see the benefits of having the children's father in their lives? Even when a father is incarcerated we can help bridge the gap for that dad to establish a relationship with their child. There may be words of wisdom that dad can share that will keep a child from following in his footsteps. We are also working with Child Support Enforcement to look at shared opportunities for engaging absent fathers.
Following are just some of the trends in fatherhood which support this work: Click HERE
We also want your help and input. As we design this curriculum and outreach we will engage you to see what role you can play to help make this successful with the biological fathers you interact with through foster care. Thanks so much for being such an important part of this continuum of care to keep children safe and strengthen families!
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The WHAT Factor
What in the world could keep a father from his child? It seems that in the child welfare system, fathers are treated with insignificance, lost in the system as another piece of unused information. Some would argue the issues surround socioeconomic, familial relationships, and cultural factors. The question that lingers is what causes fathers to be absent and why this is occurring in such drastic numbers. On the surface it appears that these fathers are deadbeat dad's, running from their responsibilities, dodging child support enforcement, or they just do not care. One factor could be that some social workers may not look at the importance of engaging fathers through the eyes of a child. The second factor could be staff lacking passion for finding the fathers of children involved in the child welfare system. Finally, the community and other larger social systems have not created a father friendly atmosphere that would invoke fathers to become involved.
It is important for social workers to understand the necessity of engaging fathers through the eyes of children they work with. If you think back on your own childhood, many of us have fond memories of our fathers. Fathers and mothers have different roles and they teach us many important facts about life. The presence of one cannot replace that of another. Can you imagine life without your father? My father has taught me a great deal about leadership, ambition, integrity, what faith was about, and how a man is to treat his wife. We haven't even touched the surface when we start discussing the vital role of fathers. Think of how you would feel if you were deprived of your father's side of the family? You would miss out on so much socialization, love and family memories. How many Father's Days would go by where you would try to ignore the fact that "Dad" was not in the picture or he was a "deadbeat dad". For many of you who are married, you realize the importance that a father plays in his child's life. No matter how much time mommy spends with their child, most children will still have a longing to see daddy, find daddy, and will even give strangers the name of daddy, because he is the missing link in their lives. Therefore if more social workers believed fathers were a valuable part of a child's well being ( given his life circumstances are secure or could be secured or stabilized with services), then we may see more paternal involvement.
In order to engage our absent fathers we have to embody a passion when searching for the absent parent. To search for our fathers yes, we need effective and efficient search engines so that our workers will not feel like they are going around in circles. The methodology of search would need to be concise and be able to provide us with valuable information quickly. In order to touch this special population, we must make a paradigm shift. This shift would have to begin with the social workers and supervisors who are managing the cases. If you think about what type of social worker you would want to have looking for your father or mother; what type would you want? Many of us would want one who believed that finding their father would make a positive difference and one who was very passionate about this mission. You would probably want a worker who would continue searching for your father and be creative in the process; giving each case individualized attention and diligence. I would want someone who did not necessarily believe what the news says about absent fathers, or anything negative that my relatives reported. Rather, I would want someone who had a vested interest in deciphering the truth. Once we have revamped our thinking and the way we view absent fathers, we can put in leg work, one case at a time to try and find the missing puzzle piece in many of our children's lives.
To read more and find out just what the, 'WHAT' factor is, Click HERE
Sherrida Smith | YFS Permanency Planning Supervisor, District 3
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MCFPA hosts 'Coffee Talk' Support Group at Educational Summit
MCFAPA hosted a "Coffee Talk" session at the Educational Summit. For those of you that have not had the opportunity to attend a session, Coffee Talk is a confidential support group that meets quarterly, in conjunction with our regularly quarterly meetings, and offers foster parents a conduit to be able to openly share concerns and experiences about being a foster parent.
Saturday's Coffee Talk offered an incredible experience to be amongst outstanding foster parents. As always, foster parents feel the need to do more for the foster children they serve. The most popular requests from foster parents were to 1) know their rights and 2) have a contribution in the court. The foster parent rights are listed below and a Foster Parent Court Summary has been created and is in the process of being approved for admission.
As always, Coffee Talk is a way to connect, communicate and confide in fellow foster parents. MCFAPA's goal is always to support our foster families, be advocates for foster children and contribute positively to the foster care process. Our quarterly meetings are held 10a-12p November 5, 2011, January 21, 2012, April 21, 2012, July 21, 2012, and October 27, 2012.
The next meeting will be held at Bob Walton Plaza, 700 Stonewall Street, Charlotte , NC 28212 .
Click HERE for a list of Foster Parent Rights
We hope to see YOU at our next Coffee Talk!
Suzi Allora | Vice President -
Mecklenburg County Foster Parent Association
www.mcfpa-nc.com/
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It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. ~Anne Sexton
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The Importance of Fathers in the Lives of Children | A Judge's Perspective
Judge KimberlyBest-Staton
The importance of Fathers in the lives of children is often overlooked. Oftentimes, when it comes to important decisions fathers are often overlooked for various reasons. However, there is a movement to involve more fathers in the lives of their children. To briefly understand the societal impact of absent fathers one can look to the National Fatherhood Initiative, an organization began by a father, Roland Warren as well as other initiatives throughout the country.
Statistics show that children who grow up with a father in the home or simply a positive male father figure are more likely to be productive citizens who contribute to society. One in three children in the US lives in a household where the biological father is absent. The lack of a father or male role model impacts everyone whether directly or indirectly. Children are five times more likely to live in poverty, significantly higher rates of incarceration, and are more likely to use drugs and engage in risky and/or delinquent behavior. Specifically, for young men, the absence of a father leads to a higher incidence of delinquency.
How can we begin to engage fathers and get them involved?
The first step to getting fathers involved is to acknowledge their existence. Locating and contacting the child's father and establishing paternity is the first step to getting them involved. Fathers should be afforded the same opportunity as mothers to be involved in the lives of their children. Should they decide to take advantage of that opportunity, do what you can to support the fathers. There is no maternal preference and as the statistics above show, we now know the results of that policy and the damage that is done to our children and society when fathers are locked out of the lives of their children.
Tips taken from the National Fatherhood initiative, the National Practitioners Network or Fathers and Families, and the National Center for Fathering as well as The Children's Trust Fund of Massachusetts gives helpful hints for fathers who are out of the home.
Click HERE for a list of these helpful tips...
Improving fathers and their relationships with their children means improving our society.
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Youth and Family Services:
Successes in Locating and Engaging Biological Fathers
Oftentimes, the work of this agency's front-line staff and supervisors is scrutinized through the eyes of an auditor with a check-box tool. In relation to biological fathers in our child protective services and permanency planning cases, the audit tools are designed to determine if we made diligent efforts to locate the fathers of all the children in our cases. Our documentation needs to show the efforts were made at least on a monthly basis; and then, once fathers are located, we need to show that we have adequately attempted to engage the fathers in the lives of their children. Audits typically do not capture the uniqueness of each individual case and the amazing lengths some of our social workers have gone to ensure children have the opportunity to have their once absent or part-time fathers play a more distinct and impactful role in their lives. These are a few examples of social workers' successes in engaging fathers to provide safety and permanency for their children. These case samples demonstrate how critical it can be to continue the search despite how hopeless it may initially appear. The children in these stories would have had very different outcomes if not for the skills, persistence and dedication of their social workers in reaching out and fostering connections with these fathers.
Rebecca Shepard-Smith | YFS Permanency Planning Supervisor, District 2
Click the links below to read stories about success in engaging biological fathers!
The "Bradley" Brothers and their Absent Father
Jewel Cannon (sw) & David Fee (sws)
A Search for Samuel's Father Rebecca Shepard-Smith (sws)
A Father Meeting his Daughter for the First Time
Kelly Myers (sws)
Father Found at the Last Minute Lillian Wagoner (sw)
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Changes Coming to the Child Care Subsidy Program
Subsidized Early Education for Kids (SEEK), N.C.'s new attendance reporting and payment delivery system for the Subsidized Child Care Program, is currently scheduled to begin in Mecklenburg County on November 1, 2011.
Please click HERE to read important details regarding the change! |
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