Confidence Coach 


POWER BYTE                                          JUNE 2011








If you believe you're on the right track and are feeling stuck merely because you're having trouble motivating yourself, then your challenge is to find a way to light your fuse, charge yourself up, turn yourself on, AND GET BACK ON TRACK.


I remember a time when my job included enrolling people into the program that had transformed my life.  I was passionate about what I was doing and was one of the most enthusiastic and successful in that office.  I remember that particular morning.  I got onto the phone, excited about the results I was going to produce.   With each "Sounds great, but no thanks" my energy diminished, and my enthusiasm was soon replaced by disappointment and despair.


My coach came over and told me to leave my desk and go water the plants.  What a peculiar request - but that was something I could do.  And I did.  I got the job done - and realized that accomplishing what I set out to accomplish had worked.  I was "back" - energized, turned on, and ready to get to work.



To re-motivate yourself:


>Set a goal that's easy to accomplish - and get it done.


>Create to-do list each day and highlight each item as it gets   done.  


>Set a goal that's "way out there", something that's so compelling that it gets you into action.


>Revisit your purpose in life and be inspired by what you're here for.  If you don't think you have a purpose in life - trust me - each of us does.  However, if you don't know what yours could possibly be, get some help and find out.  It will change your experience of living.


>Read your mission statement and allow yourself to be touched. (If you don't have a personal mission statement, it's time to write one.)  A clear, personal mission statement will provide overall direction.  It will help you to clarify your priorities and align your behavior with your vision.


>Go to a place where people are gathered - a place filled with energy. I'm at Starbucks this morning.  So many people. So many computers.  So much happening.


>Call or meet with an associate or friend who you know can be counted on to help you get back on track.




>>If you haven't anyone who can do that for you, it's time to hire a coach. You deserve to have a partner who you can count on to stand for you even when you are having difficulty standing for yourself.


On the other hand:


Since your values determine "why" you take action, you can think of your values as your hidden motivators. They're hidden because they're not visible to others and sometimes you yourself are not aware of what they are and how they're driving your action. The following questions will help you identify some of your values. If your values aren't being fulfilled you won't be motivated to take action. If your values determine "why" you take action, your behavior will determine "how" you take the action (more on that in another Power Byte).


Do you love change and come alive when you're able to make changes that increase results - but haven't the authority to make any changes in your current situation?


>Do you long to be independent and self-generating, but find yourself being micro-managed by someone who you consider to be incompetent?


>Do you thrive on excitement and adventure, and your current situation is boring and repetitious?


>Do you come alive when there is new learning to be done, and you've learned all you can from your current situation?


>Are you a creative problem solver with no problems to be solved?


>Do you really want to make a difference for others and in the current situation you don't believe you're making a difference for anyone?


>Are you motivated by opportunities to increase your wealth and lately that's just not been possible?


>Do you get energized when you work with others and find yourself working alone most of the time?


>Do you thrive on praise, will go above and beyond when you feel valued, and you have no evidence that you're appreciated and valued?


If you answered yes to any of the questions, there is a good chance your values in life aren't being fulfilled.


If you're clear that changes are called for, you know you are not ready to make those changes, yet you just can't accept what isn't working,  you can count on continuing to suffer.


I recommend eliminating the suffering by getting the help you need to either accept what is, or make the changes that are called for.


To quote Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof:

"But on the other hand"


It may be the perfect time to retreat from your normal life. Tribal cultures (including Native Americans) have a ritual of going out into the wilderness alone in search of clarity. If you Google "retreats" you may be as surprised as I was at the number and variety of retreats available. One of many sites you can check out is


There are times when it's really appropriate to be still, to go within and contemplate. I like to think of that as the precious time I set aside for quiet preparation.


If it's not merely that you have to get yourself re-motivated and back into the life you love, and it's not because your values aren't being fulfilled so it's time to make a change, then it is likely what's called for is contemplation, quiet time, going inward to engage your mind and your heart.


* Is it time to end your current chapter? Has this chapter reached maturity and is it beginning to decay?


* Has your life become a version of Bill Murray's Ground Hog Day?


* Is it time to become clear on your purpose in life and do something you are passionate about?


* Is it just time to take a breath, enjoy some quiet time to rejuvenate and renew body and soul?


* Is it time to think things over - to step back to gain perspective?


If you're addicted to activity, quiet time can seem so wrong and yet there are times when it's exactly what is needed.


If you have looked at all of the above and need some support, please find someone to help show you the way. You'll need someone who thinks you can do anything and has no investment in what you have been.


I have created two offerings for you if you are committed to knowing how great you are and having a compelling vision for the future.



Click here: Two Specially Priced Offers




Imagine! You can replace day by day at this petty pace with excitement about getting out of bed in the morning.


"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." My commitment is to you being the amazing butterfly that only you can be. 






I am delighted to announce that one of my former clients, Sara Hacala, has written a book that is scheduled to be published and available for pre-order on Amazon. I am adding a small portion of the product description here, and a link to Amazon.


Product Description

"Saving Civility: 52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude, and Attitude for a Polite Planet"                           

Polite and respectful behavior is vanishing from our world today. Bullying, hostile and polarizing political interactions, tasteless and tactless comments delivered without discretion, everyone talking at once but nobody listening--we are treating one another badly in our day-to-day lives, and our relationships are fragmenting and deteriorating as a result. It doesn't have to be this way.


Sara Hacala, a certified etiquette and protocol consultant, offers guidance that goes beyond the hollow display of proper manners and good conduct. Hacala presents civility as a mindset that encompasses values and attitudes that help us embrace our shared humanity and repair our society. She taps the wisdom of ancient spiritual luminaries as well as the latest social science research to provide fifty-two practical ways we can reverse the course of incivility and create a more enriching, pleasant place to live- - - - -


 Click below:


Saving Civility: 52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude, and Attitude for a Polite Planet




"During our time together, we talked about many things, and how I could go about my work.  There is one thing that you said, however, that had the greatest impact:  "If you don't change your story, you'll be repeating the same one next year and forever." I learned to accept what was happening in my life; rather than to concentrate on what has been lost. I am living in the moment now and much happier for it.  I'm very glad you said those words to me!"   - Sara Hacala  2008


Alexandra Marcovitch

Alexandra & Associates


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