I looked at my 3 - year - old grandson's Pre-School report card and smiled proudly when I saw he was being marked for "Plays with Others" and he'd gotten a really good score. I remembered my own primary grade report cards. Do you remember yours?
The front cover page had my name, grade, and school (Guy Drummond, Montreal, Quebec). The two middle pages were reserved for what I considered to be the "important" marks (reading, writing and arithmetic). The back cover contained all the marks for behavior and socialization. I remember thinking the last page wasn't that important. In any event, since I am and always have been a "social" being, I got great marks on that last page. Also really interesting is that even then it was about the marks and not about the learning.
I'm sure those of you who didn't get good marks have some harrowing tales to tell about your experiences in school. I have learned so much about human beings and their unique gifts since then, things that let me know that those marks don't mean a lot about the value of a human being. I sure hope you have learned that too.
For over 25 years I've been partnering with people in business (and pleasure) so they could be more effective, successful, prosperous and joyful in their careers and in their personal lives. Hardly any of the people I worked with (and there were many hundreds) lacked the skills they needed (the middle pages of the report card) to get things done.
But my oh my - there was often a lot missing in their mastery of that last page. So many had been sent for coaching because regardless of their skill and ability to do their jobs, if their behavior didn't change they would be terminated. There were just too many people complaining about them and there was too much upset around them. It bothers me that there are still too many organizations willing to sacrifice repect for individuals and team play for results and a good bottom line.
You can destroy your career if the behavior you exhibit at work isn't masterful. You can cause the demise of your marriage if you don't know how to play well with others. Many people with superior education, years of experience and impressive titles, have diminished results because of how they treat others. Many people with good intentions lose relationships because of the impact of their behavior on those they love.
And not everyone is designed to play well with others. Many "think" they're doing well and are oblivious to the impact of their behavior on others.
And it's not just the aggressive people that do poorly behaviorally. The charmers, the outgoing social people who actually want everyone to love them, irritate some people too.
The question is, are most people delighted to have you around or are they talking about you behind your back? Is there any chance they find you arrogant, abrasive, annoying, too chatty, too critical, untrustworthy -is there anyone who would rather they didn't have to be with you?
Is your behavior going to slow down your progress and destroy your career? Is that very behavior going to damage your relationship with loved ones?
The rest of this Power Byte is designed to give you some information that will be helpful to you and the people you work or play with.