Alexandra & Associates
Power Bytes

March  2011




It's renewal time.  At least Mother Nature is renewing once again.  If you're in the North you are beginning to see flowers poking their heads out of the earth, the sun is beginning to shine more brightly and the days are getting longer.  Actually there were 6 inches of snow in Toronto last week, but Spring is just around the corner.


Here in the South it's not so apparent that it's Spring, but the flowers are brilliant and we have the pollen and our allergies to remind us that it is time to awaken - to blossom - to renew.  Most of the people I speak to say that they are ready, willing and able to do just that.  It's just that other people are getting in their way.


Isn't it a bummer?  In order to come alive and make our contributions we have to learn to get along with people who do things differently than we do.  I'm talking about those people who are challenging to say the least and totally irritating to say the most.


It's even more of a bummer if the person who's your biggest problem happens to be someone who has the power to influence your success.  It may be the person you report to, or someone who can complain about you to the person you report to.


Actually anyone you deal with can influence your success in some way, but for this Power Byte I am going to be focusing on your relationship with the person who has the authority to really impact your future - your boss.


You are very fortunate if you have a wonderful boss and an amazing group of people to work with. These are the people that are makng your job easier and helping you succeed. Stop for a moment to think about them and be grateful - be truly grateful. 


If you haven't done so recently, you may want to take the time to acknowledge them and thank them for contributing to your success.



I am working with an Executive of a large National organization.  For most of the 30 years of her career she had no problem with the people she reported to.  Currently she is bumping into a very challenging boss.  All I can say is she is really fortunate that it hadn't happened before.


Her boss is very critical, never expresses appreciation, and must have things done "his" way.  He doesn't express appreciation for what's going well, but is quick to point to what's missing. He's committed to results and she is the very person who's in a position to produce these results.  "She" thrives on praise, produces above and beyond when she feels valued and valuable.  That's not what she's getting, not how she's feeling, and she hasn't been motivated enough to produce "above and beyond" results for some time now.


That's not to make the "boss" wrong.  Likely from his perspective she is challenging and irritating.  Likely for him being the boss means taking charge and driving things in.  He's being held to account for breakthrough results and this is how he believes he will get them. It's his style.  It's how he sees things.  It's how he does things.   It's an expression of him and has nothing to do with her.  It's "him doing him".


I imagine that if he is even aware of his behavior he believes this is CEO behavior - what a leader "has" to do.  If you remember nothing else, please remember.  BELIEVING IS SEEING and not the reverse.  Until there is a transformation in his beliefs, he will continue to see that his way is the right way and he will continue to be the kind of leader he is being.


I haven't spoken to the boss, so this is just my "story".  It's the world according to Alex.


Not all irritating people are irritating because they're too critical and controlling.  Some are irritating because they are too laid back, too bubbly, too much or too little of something or other.


If you are upset about someone or many people, just remember that they are just being them, either doing what they believe works or behaving a particular way automatically because that's how they're designed. 












  • What do I want to accomplish?
  • Is it possible to get what "I" want in this company?
  • Am I learning and growing?
  • Can this job get me closer to my vision?
  • Who do I have to work with?
  • What behavior of theirs am I having difficulty with?
  • Can I see that their behavior has nothing to do with me - it's just "their" behavior?
  • What adjustments do "I" have to make to work with them so I can succeed at my job?
  • What conversations should I have to help me work more effectively with them?
  • Is what I want worth the challenge of the conversations I need to have and the adjustments I need to make?


If the job is important and what's called for is an adjustment in thinking and a change of behavior (yours), but you're not sure how to proceed:


~ work with me for one to three months.  I can promise a transformation of your point of view about yourself and others in a very short time.  Lot's can be done in one month.  A lot more can be accomplished in three.


Call, text or e-mail.










You can leave your job to find a better one.  You can even find the perfect job, have a brilliant interview, be clear about what you are looking for and believe the new opportunity will provide you with everything you wanted and didn't have in your old job. 


You can even be courageous enough to be clear about what you won't tolerate, and be assured that  you won't have to tolerate those things.  You can be honest about your unique ability and what you can and can't provide and be told that they just want what you have - don't need what you're missing.  You are offered the job and you gladly accept.


And then you get to work with people - all kinds of people - wonderful people, strange people, talented people, irritating people, smart ones and lazy ones,  etc.


People are amazing - each one unique. 


We're different in so many ways - and the same in the end.   No matter who we are, how we behave or what we present to the world, inside (sometimes very deep inside)  we're all concerned that we aren't good enough and/or not lovable enough.   


If you aren't clear about how unique and special you are and the contribution "you" have to make, you will be more likely to be upset by others.


For those of you who aren't as clear as you would like to be, invest in a profile and a session with me.  I promise that after one and one-half hours of debriefing you will be madly in love with yourself.  It's a small investment for a huge return.





It's true that there are some people that are totally and always upsetting no matter what you do.  When you're clear about yourself,  what you want, what you bring, what you will and won't put up with - sometimes it's appropriate to make a move (either personal or corporate).



G-d, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,  And the wisdom to know the difference.                  

From the Twelve Step Program, Alcoholics Anonymous

Alexandra Marcovitch
Alexandra & Associates
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