Alexandra & Associates
Power Bytes
July 2010
Behavioral patterns are deeply ingrained in us.  In fact they are much like a software program that runs automatically from the moment we awake in the morning.  For most this program is unconscious.  The good news is that each of us, regardless of our program, has enormous contributions to make.  Often, just being ourselves will be valuable and appreciated.
Regardless of how much of a gift we are to others, when under stress the very greatness of our design goes into "over-drive" and we can become a problem.  In my experience we "do" become a problem at least for some people.
There are certain people who seem to be a problem far too often. Regardless of their skill and ability, others find them irritating and unpleasant.  On the job they are the ones that generate the most complaints, and the ones that many avoid working with regardless of the cost. Some of the observable behaviors that cause problems are:
>Anger and Aggression
>Winning at the Cost of Others
>Bold, Blunt, Inappropriate (Offensive) Communication
>Making up Stories to Look Good
>Talking Too Much
>Not Talking Enough
Everyone, under stress, delivers their most unproductive and often difficult behavior - and most of us are under stress at least some of the time.
How often would you say you fall into unpleasant, nasty, ineffective types of behavior?
 Never      Hardly Ever     Sometimes       Almost Always        Always
If you chose never - guess again.  It's just that you are blind to your irritating behaviors.   And if you chose always, not only do you need immediate help, but the people around you probably could use help too.
On a serious note, all of us "sometimes" behave in unattractive ways that will get in the way of results and create reputations that we really don't want to have.  The sad thing is often we are unaware when we flip into unproductive reactive behaviors.  To check out what happens to you - and how frequently it happens, ask for honest feedback from:
- co-workers
- friends
- those who you "know" won't withhold the truth
Or ask your manager to generate a 360 degree profile on you, getting input from the people that you work with on a regular basis.
Note:  Whatever your "mate" and children have been complaining  about regarding your behavior, is worth paying attention to.  They are likely the ones that you feel safest around - and they usually get the "worst" of your behavior. 
It's not that anyone else is "right" - it's just that if they are experiencing unpleasant behaviors, at least from their perspective those behaviors are not helping you get what you want.
I "know" that I am totally committed to serving others, I am really empathetic and understanding and am likely better than most at listening - so it was hard for me to believe that when I was in a time or result crunch I became bold, aggressive and demanding.  And, who I was barking at were the people who were in a position to help me get my job done.  I also "know" that when I'm frustrated I become aggressive and forceful. 
If you really "are" serious about having loving and wonderful relationships with the people who mean the most to you, and  if you are concerned about your reputation and about your ability to produce the results you're committed to with your associates - please do something about checking this out.  
Call me and we'll check it out together. 

Recently I worked with a team of very powerful and effective business leaders. There was no question about their ability to get their jobs done from the perspective of skill and ability.  However there was a great deal of stress coming from the corporate office, and they were behaving very poorly with one another.   That was costing them.  Trust and collaboration were missing to say nothing of open communication and their ability to champion one another. 


Their behavior with one another was affecting their ability to produce results.


Even if you don't know it, "I know" that you too are powerful and effectiveYou surely don't want "anything" to get in your way, NOT IF YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 


Get some coaching from a trusted colleague, friend or family member 


It may be time to hire a professional coach, and make an investment in yourself and your future. Find the one that's right for you - and give yourself the gift that you deserve -  THE GIFT OF YOU 




If you are a business leader you may want to invest in coaching for the valuable people on your team whose behavior is getting in their way.




Or you may prefer to invest in  Team Building  to allow your entire team to learn how to be a Championship Team.



Knowing is  not enough, we must apply.

 Willing is not enough;  we must do.........
                                                                                                           - Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe
Call 561-742-2779 and ask for Alex.
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Alexandra Marcovitch
Alexandra & Associates
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