Alexandra & Associates
Power Bytes
 
April 2010
 
 
TRUST - PART 2
 
 
  
 
 The TOP 10 answers regarding trust.
 
1.     I trust someone who does what they say they are going to do when they say they're going to do it - someone who keeps their word.
2.     I trust people who "can" do what they say they'll do or let me know they can't do it.
3.     I trust someone whose integrity is impeccable.
4.     I trust someone until they cheat me or lie to me - and then I never trust them again.
5.     It takes me a long time to trust anyone. 
6.     Basically I don't think people are trustworthy - so I don't trust anyone really.
7.     People have to prove to me that they can be trusted before I trust them.  This begs the question, what do they have to do to prove it?
8.     I trust someone who can be counted on to produce results.  All I care about are results.
9.     I trust someone who can be counted on to stand for me no matter what.
10.  I trust someone who will never say bad things about me - no matter what.
 
Please be aware that you won't really know what others are looking for to determine you're trustworthiness.  If trust is important, then ask what it will take for them to consider you trustworthy.  And trust is essential. 
 
When trust breaks down in relationships it's just a matter of time before the relationship is over.  And even though it doesn't make the headlines (as it does in Hollywood, sports and politics) - the results can be just as devastating.
 
When trust breaks down in organizations you can pretty much count on lack of honest communication, ineffective teamwork, poor morale, and a significant reduction in productivity, performance and results.  Just forget about having breakthroughs or extraordinary success.
 
If you already have a reputation for being untrustworthy, it may not be easy to change that reputation and it may take some time - but for you to be effective and successful, you'd better be clear that you have to do whatever it takes to change your behaviors to the ones that will ultimately generate trust.
 
                                   
                                                                                                       
 
 
  • Keep commitments to yourself first.  
  • Start by making a promise to do something by a certain date, something that is do-able, and make sure you get it done.
  • Be reponsible and make only the commitments that you "know" you are going to be able to keep or are truly willing to stretch to keep.  Be willing to say "no" if you are pretty sure you won't be able to deliver.
  • If you find you are unable to keep a commitment, have the courage to contact the person you made that commitment to.  Let them know you won't be able to deliver and renegotiate.
  • Be gentle with yourself and with others.  The only way to be absolutely certain we keep promises is not to make any or to make really safe ones.  However, to reach your full potential requires making some risky promises and stretching to deliver. 
  • Ask others to hold you accountable.
  • Keep the promises you've made visible so that you can't use "I forgot" as an excuse for not delivering.
  • Tell the truth. Talk straight.  I know it's tough to admit error, weakness, addiction, etc..  In the short turn denial might even work.  It temporarily eliminates the pain that comes with telling the truth.  But, it also eliminates the possibility of change, prohibits happiness, saps energy, and inevitably the truth becomes apparent.  That seems like a huge price to pay -  not to mention the loss of the trust of others.
  • Don't participate in gossip.
  • Know what your values are and be true to those values even if others don't like it.  Invest in a values profile - available through alex@committedtoyou.org
  • Demonstrate being trusting of others - stand for their trustworthiness, and if someone breaks that trust, speak to them about it.  First and foremost - assume good intentions, and then check it out.
 
 
 "Trust men and they will be true to you:  treat them greatly and they will show themselves great."
                                                              - Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
I had the privilege of working with every member of a really successful marketing team.   When asked why they thought they were so effective, to a person they said, "Bill (our VP)  lavished me with trust.  I would never let him down." His trust in them motivated them to be their best.
 
 
Let's be honest.  If you lavish others with trust you are making yourself vulnerable.  Giving trust really means that you have an expectation that the other will honor that trust and act accordingly - yet you will have absolutely no control over that person's actions. Sometimes they "do" let you down.  It's happened, right?
 
When I asked clients of mine about their relationship to trust some said, "I don't trust anyone.  It's safer that way.  I was let down, betrayed, hurt in the past.  I'm not willing to be vulnerable anymore."  Okay.  That makes sense.  So, when these same people were asked if they could say that since they started protecting themselves from pain and hurt - they were without suffering.  The answer was a resonant - "Absolutely not! " As a matter of fact most acknowledged that they suffered even more.  Keeping themselves safe from others was even more painful than playing full out and risking getting hurt.
 
Given the research I've done - and my own personal experience - I strongly recommend extending trust.  Don't withhold trust because there is risk involved. 
 
 
 

It's time to take a stand for trustworthiness and make a commitment to:

 

(This list is based on the new book by Stephen M.R. Covey - "The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything"  

 

       Talk Straight

       Demonstrate Respect

       Create Transparency

       Right Wrongs

       Show Loyalty

       Deliver Results

       Get Better

       Confront Reality

       Clarify Expectations

       Practice Accountability

       Listen First

       Keep Commitments

       Extend Trust

 

"The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." 

                                                              - Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R3GtAnO66o

 
 
 AWAKENING YOUR GREATNESS IN THREE SHORT MONTHS
 
 

It's not your lack of skill - and not your lack of experience.  It's just that you truly aren't clear about how amazing you are.

 

It's not that I will be giving you something you don't have - or selling you something you can't live without.  It's just that there is a film (a cover/cloud) over the amazing and powerful person that you are.

 

Over all these years in the people business,  it has been proven (over and over again) that there is no one - not one -  nobody, that isn't special and doesn't have a unique light all their own that is just waiting to be "turned on".

 

My role is the "awakener" - yours the "awakened".

 

Give yourself (and me) three months and I can promise that your investment will be well spent - that you won't regret one moment or one penny spent.  I can promise that you will be delighted to be you.

 

 

My only concern is that you don't believe it's possible to be great - and oh how you long to go to sleep at night feeling delighted to be you - at home with you - at peace with the world - and with a smile on your face.

 
 
 

All that it takes is a phone call:

 

(561-742-2779) or an e-mail

 

(alex@committedtoyou.org).  

 
 
You can rest assured (trust) that you will become very clear if it's your time to awaken - and if I'm the one to partner with.  You have nothing to lose. 
 

 

Trust Yourself to Discover What You Don't Already Know - the Discovery of Which Will Transform Your Life Forever.
 
 

I'm willing to have you take it one month at a time.  If after a month you don't feel you're getting what you want - then our arrangement will be over. 

 

It's really quite simple.  All you need to do it take a stand on you - "trust" that I truly can deliver what I'm promising - and "trust" that you are all you ever hoped to be.

 

 
 

 

 
 

Knowing is  not enough, we must apply.

 Willing is not enough;  we must do.........
                                                                                                           - Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe
 
 
You're being asked to do something.  It's simple. 
 
Call 561-742-2779 and ask for Alex.
 
Or e-mail:  alex@committedtoyou.org
 
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Alexandra Marcovitch
Alexandra & Associates
561-742-2779
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